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| - So after midnight me and Ife walk in here. There ain't no seats open so the host guy tells us that we have to wait approximately 5 minutes. I was like "NO F*CKING WAY! 5 minutes? I don't got the patience for that!". So we walk up to this random Korean couple and nicely told them to "get the f*ck out or I will knock the kimchee out of your f*cking mouth!" Even though the chick at the table quickly got up and ran out the door, Ife still thought it was a good idea to punch her in this face and poor her Soju all over her head. So, with that problem out of the way we got a pretty good seat. We got into another fight with the staff when it literally took like 2 whole minutes for our server to get to us. What kind of slow ass service is that? Obviously, the server didn't know he was dealing with very wealthy and sophisticated people here. We told him to do the Gangnam Style dance or we wouldn't tip him. Eventually I waved a $1 bill in front of his face and he gave in and started dancing. Just to be nice, I threw his tip off the balcony where he ran for it, down the stairs, as fast as he could. Unfortunately, the Chinese girls at Shuseki had already gotten to it before he could get down there. Seeing how i'm one of those people who love to drink and get wasted, I ordered like 3 bottles of that Orange Soju stuff. At the end of the night, the service was still so bad that we did not pay the check and just walked out. In the parking lot, I decided to use my skillful "womanizing" techniques on Ife and I was like: "Hey bitch! I am totally good at the sex and gonna like totally do the sexing on you!" That line usually works on every chick at Lewis Family Park, and I just don't understand why it didn't work on her. She gave me a beating that was worse than anything I had experienced during my boxing days. While I was completely lifeless on the floor, she took my keys and drove off in the 1992 honda civic that my dad bought me for my 25th birthday. As I was laying on the cold asphalt of the parking lot, I had started crying because I realized my pokemon card collection was still in the backseat, and also I was Forever Alone...
None of that story above happened.
The real story was that due to the superbowl crowd and all the other sh!t going on Saturday night in Las Vegas, we literally were having a disasterific night and just needed a place to hang out. I hadn't slept in 3 days, and was so incoherent and zombified. The conversations I was having with Ife were so awkward and strange. My words were slurring and my personality was totally loserific. We found Bazic because of a review that Tien had written. Ife loves K-pop and Korean culture so we thought it might be a fun place to hang out. When we walked in, no one assumed I was Korean. I took too much after my Japanese side, and none of the servers in a million years thought I was even 1% Korean. Our server was actually really great, and I tipped quite a bit. Ife ordered this giant bottle of Orange Soju which didn't even come close to getting her buzzed, while all the other people in the club who ordered it were totally on the floor, puking their brains out. Ife is so f*cking rad! She can literally outdrink the country of Ireland. I on the other hand, being Straight Edge was sitting there and thinking to myself "I wish I had a coke". And then suddenly the server brought me one of those fancy ass cokes from the metal bottle. It was the happiest day of my life. Overall, it was a really great experience! Next time I'm gonna rent one of those Karoake things and invite all my yelp friends. Can't wait to hang out with Ife again, we are going to that Commonworld(spelling ?) UYE event on Wednesday. So, if you are one of those business owners or yelpers who hate me, this is your opportunity to finally get me. You'll know me when you see me, I'm always the hottest guy in the room.
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