The first rule of pie making must be to have perfected crust. It should be flaky, delicate, sweet and tempt you to eat the entire perimeter [to really piss off your family]. Whatever the dry, flavorless stuff was that held this thing together might as well have been cardboard.
I got an apple pie, which should be the benchmark. if you can't make an amazing apple pie, you should go into the cupcake business. The apples were wafer thin and under-cooked, the spice was too strong, too much allspice or clove, over-powering. Seasoning should be subtle and delicate with nice chunks of soft baked apples simmering a a delicious almost caramelized sauce....something to really blend in with Ice Cream if you go a la mode.
The most telling sign has to be this. My two kids ate two bites and left theirs untouched on the counter and a day later I have half the pie left. Even the crappiest $5 pie from Fry's I pick at until it's long gone within 2-4 hours tops. Today I brought the leftover to office, those vultures will eat packets of taco bell hot sauce.
Maybe my palate is not sophisticated enough to appreciate a $20 artisan pie. My palate doesn't give two shits about anything but taste and texture, period. I can't will myself to hanker for this.
Now my quest for a decent apple pie that I don;t have to bake myself continues. Thanks Pie Hole for reminding me my Grandma is dead and I can't go home again.