| rev:text
| - Place sucks. We went online and ordered a pizza and wings (nothing crazy, just a pizza and wings. We didn't ask them to make a smiley face out of pepperoni or anything like that. They've had lots of practice making both of these items I'm sure) and the estimated delivery time was 65 minutes. 65 minutes is a long time when you're hungry, I honestly didn't know if I had the patience or wherewithal to make it. I decided I needed a way out, so I said "Hey, I bet they're pretty backed up with deliveries tonight. Let's help alleviate this issue and just call them and ask to pick it up. That'd be nice of us, they'll like that". We call about 10 minutes after ordering and the guy on the phone said that the food would be ready in 10 minutes at 7:05ish. Good, great, awesome, see you soon Pizza Hut man.
We decided to wait an extra 10 minutes and show up at 7:15 just to be safe because everyone knows that there's nothing worse than sitting in the undersized waiting area of a pizza place like a weirdo just twiddling your thumbs and staring at the fridge full of unclaimed 2 liters. We get all checked out by about 7:20 and the guy at the front counter lets us know that "it's almost done". What do you mean it's almost done? We've now given you an extra 15 minutes Pizza Hut man, you're not holding up your end of the deal. We take a seat in the waiting room for what could've been weeks or months or even years I really couldn't tell. Time passes exponentially slower inside a Pizza Hut, it's essentially a black hole within a strip mall.
They eventually realize that there is no way they've been cooking our pizza for 40 minutes, ask us for the name on the order, and start looking through the orders that were sitting there waiting to be claimed. Ours is nowhere to be found, it's MIA, another casualty of the proverbial pizza war. My friend then gets someones attention, points to one looking lonely in the corner and says "Hey, is that ours?". Pizza Hut man confirms that it is indeed our pizza, we retrieve the package and promptly exit the Pizza Hut. We successfully get the food home, this is the moment we've been waiting exactly 56 minutes for. WELP, the food is cold and it's honestly hard to tell if I'm eating the pizza or the cardboard box at this point. The wings are also cold and just generally not good, the skin on the outside has a distinct jerky-like texture and is more akin to a buffalo flavored piece of gum than a chicken wing. To add insult to injury, this lackluster ensemble was $30.00 American.
I'm not upset, I'm just extremely disappointed. From now on my pizza business will be going to Papa John and his boy Peyton Manning.
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