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| - If you only eat one savoury thing in Toronto, it has to be fried pork and chive dumplings at Dumpling House on Spadina. But if you have only one dessert... get here... get the Greek Honey Balls. I'm serious. It sounds obscene but the taste is more obscene than anything you can imagine. Yes, even you. Not me. But you.
At first I thought this was a place where they serve Paella, suckling dead baby pigs and Bulls. But that's actually Madrid Pastries. It's also not the place with the really snobby servers and high prices (Paris Pastries), or the place full of lunatics that think their island is a ship that can set sail for North America and finally be reunited with the rebels (London Pastries).
What to get: Loukamades - Greek Honey Balls. Er.
Did you say... Honey Balls...: Look just get them okay. Order them in Greek if it makes you uncomfortable.
Anything else: Galaktoboureko (custard pie) and Spanakopita (Spinach Pie) are both really good. Those Greeks love their pies, don't they. And their honey balls. Well.
Literally one of the best desserts you will ever eat in your life. Loukamades.
These balls are seriously sticky and seriously perfect. I can't describe them. You have to come up to Toronto - right now - and try them.
Probably the only sweet thing in Toronto that is better than the amaaaaazing Créme Brulée donuts at nearby Von, these Honey Balls are some of the best Balls of any kind I've ever put in my mouth. And that includes all kinds.
I mean, including Falafel Balls and Arancini Balls. What did you think I meant? Ew. Come on. Really? I would never.
(Fingers Crossed Behind Back)
The long line for pastries is not always dealt with efficiently (it would be at Berlin Pastries), and sometimes I wonder if some of the servers are high on something (but then I remember, that only happens at Amsterdam Pastries). That one tall blonde girl that used to work here was pretty amazing (until she defected to work at Stockholm Pastries). And I like that they always open right on time, always close right on time, and execute all of their rivals (oh wait that's Moscow Pastries).
I first tried them during the Danforth St Festival aka Taste Of Danforth. They were packed out the door and also selling them outside. They were soooooooo good, and so much better than anyone else who was offering them. Accept no substitute! You must get them from here! Get your Gyro at Messini and your balls here at Athens!
Young boys follow me outside this bakery on their mopeds and hit on me, much like at Rome Pastries. It could be worse, because their baked goods could taste completely neutral and bland, like at Bern Pastries (and its sister stores, Geneva Pastries and Zurich Pastries). And I appreciate that even when all the customers are drunk, the servers never are (unlike Dublin Pastries and Belfast Pastries). The honey balls are only wee little balls lassie but they're bloody good (so says the baker over at Edinburgh Pastries). Anyway I have a multiple-person date to go on now (with the girls from Prague Pastries, Budapest Pastries, Bucharest Pastries, Tirana Pastries and Sofia Pastries, if you must know).
And if you feel (like those girls often do, which is how I met them) like showing it all off at the festival, New Orleans Style, then you can also pick up some Athens Pastys from Athens Pastries.
Their Spinach Pie here is also really good, but nothing compares to those balls of heaven. They put the "ho" in Honey. In a good way. Or is it put the Honey in Ho. Oh no that's something else. Never mind.
Did you hear, by the way, that Istanbul Bakery is trying really hard to get into the Bakery Business? But the other bakeries aren't sure if they want to let them in on a slice of the pie... so to speak.
Sadly, I found out that the store is completely bankrupt. And now I finally understand why they are named Athens Pastries.
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