My best friend and her boyfriend met me for dinner Saturday night ... because I am their favorite third wheel. Her boyfriend has even given me a rare "I will punch anyone in the face for you once" card. Like if I need it, no questions asked, he will punch you in the face for me. We might have been drunk when this card was offered.
Luckily, there was no need for summoning up that card at dinner, because it was delicious. And that's hard to do considering I made a bunch of sad changes to my salad in order to be healthy. I was like no this, no that, no fun, don't hate me. The server was very kind and what was left of my salad was fresh and delicious. Meanwhile, the lovebirds sitting next to me ate pizza. F*ck those guys.
(I'm totally coming back for the pizza.)