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| - The Year is 1993:
Hernan N. comes home from school and turns on the TV.On comes one of the greatest animated shows of all time, Animaniacs.The 10-year old me follows the adventures of Yakko, Wakko and Dot(plus various other characters.Pinky & The Brain!The Goodfeathers!) everyday with delight.
Right now you are probably thinking to yourself, "Why the fuck is this guy talking about cartoons?"
There was a nameless character on the show who just happened to be a buxom blonde nurse.Whenever Yakko would come across said nurse he would shout out his catchphrase, "HELLOOOOO NURSE!"
That began my obsession/fetish/whatever with girls in nurses outfits.I'm not talking about those lame scrubs that nurses wear nowadays(screw you male nurses for ruining the way that nurses dress now), but the white outfits and hat little white hat with the red cross on it.To this day, whenever I come across an attractive woman that phrase echoes through my head.I sometimes find myself imagining what a girl will look like in a nurse's outfit before deciding to approach her.Relationships have been ruined due to this obsession(why aren't more women into roleplaying?).Anyway...
The Present:
I find out there is a new restaurant opening up on Fremont Street that serves frighteningly unhealthy food and the waitresses are dressed like nurses....I'm there, dude.
I walk in and the 1st thing I see is a short, busty blonde dressed as a nurse.With every fiber of my being I fight off the urge to yell out, "HELLOOOO NURSE!"
She puts a hospital gown on me and I am seated at the bar, attended to by a lady wearing surgeon scrubs.The menu says. "Taste worth dying for."
I didn't feel like going overboard for my 1st time, so I ordered the Single Bypass(1/2 lb burger), Lard Fries(wtf!?) and a Coke.While I waited on my food I chatted up the bartender and asked her how often 350+ lbs people come to get a free burger.She told me at least 1 a day, and one night there was 6.Minutes after I inquired, a hefty fellow came in and got on the scale.This contender stood at 6'5 and weighed in at 357 lbs.America, fuck ya.
The fries were pretty damn good.I have no clue what lard is supposed to taste like but it works well with fries.Apparently, the bun and meat of the burger are also coated with lard.Lardopalooza up in here.
Something about this burger was just not right.The cheese looked like it had been placed onto the burger the moment it had been handed to me, the onions had the texture of worms(Yes, I've eaten worms before.)Normally when one bites into a really good burger, you get that burst of flavor in your mouth that makes you pity vegetarians.I did not experience that here.
As I continued to eat, I gazed up at the video wall and saw the sign(Throwing out an Ace of Base reference).The video shows the owner in a doctor's outfit and two nurses shopping for supplies at a Sam's Club/Costco warehouse store.He pushes the 2 nurses around on a cart and comes to the meat section.Now it all makes sense.They buy all their product from a fucking Costco!sigh...
I wanted to like this place, i really did.The staff is great, the theme and atmosphere is cool but the food is just not good.
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