'I barfed in das boot at Essen Haus'
They sell shirts here that say (something along the lines of) 'I had a boot at Essen Haus'. I would have bought TOTALLY bought one of those shirts... but only if it had my more accurately titled shirt from above.
Seriously fun. Seriously sh*tty beer. Serious polka madness. Seriously sub-par service.
I might be spoiled by living so close to best damn German bar ever (http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-bavarian-lodge-lisle#hrid:mTbzuMp3HU-tduzdQ-_UMA) but judging from the just above 3 star average I still had an 'on par' average experience... but a boot was involved, sooo yay! + puke, because I REALLY wanted to be the one to finish it off... but that would have defo meant me barfing in the boot... which is apparently my faux pas.
I love beer. I'm all for twinks, short jortsand lederhosen. And as if I even had to mention the polka... bc ya know I'm down for some squeezebox and then some, but Essen Haus, beyond being a Mad City tourist attraction, is just okay Still a 'must see' if in the area. I can't say much for the food beyond the peanuts and popcorn (imma have mayjah sodium face manana) but the beer selection is pretty much just sh*tty German "imports" and the service goes like this:
Server: What do you want?
You: Some kind of beer.
Server: Okay. Sign for $75 deposit if you break the glass on top of the $25 boot
Server drops off boot
You: finish boot (hopefully do NOT barf in das boot)
Server: Another boot?
You: I hate you.
Server: Brings check
You: Pay, contemplate polka-ing, but worry about puking on the dance floor and leave... amidst a batch of skeezy bachelorette parties and low budget post-cubicle hell functions.
I don't hate it. I'm happy I went this one time. I'm more happy I didn't barf in the boot.