| rev:text
| - LeBron James asked me to rap about this jerky, so here goes.
So I heard from friends that this jerky was A-OK
But it's so expensive that I put it on LAYAWAY
Then I ran round back and ate it all in the ALLEYWAY
Then posted this review a few hours after XMAS DAY
I saved up my pennies, but not for a RAINY DAY
And eventually I went back to CzuchRAJ TO PAY
I ran in to LeBron, when I was ON THE WAY
And he gave me a ride, in a tricked out CHEVROLET
We drank wine all night, I think it was BEAUJOLAIS
And then King James asked me if I'd go ALL THE WAY
To Akron... his hometown... and who was I to DISOBEY
And that's when he told me who really killed JFK
I can't tell you what he said, at least not on BOXING DAY
But like Ari and her man, me and LBJ talk ERRYDAY
He just asked me if I wanna go to his manSION TO PLAY
(Bball) (and he said his eggs are bigger than FABERGE)
But that's TMI and I don't kiss & tell ANYWAY
And if I did I bet I'd Collide with a lawsuit like HOWIE DAY
I'm so glad that I went back to WSM to SQUARE AWAY
For all that luscious Jerky that I bought from J & J
WHAT
So I've tried some of the famous places for jerky around the country and I have to say there is only one that has ever made any kind of an impression on me. That is right here.
The spicy jerky here is worth eating and eating and eating some more - even though jerky is probably one of the very worst things that you can possibly eat, no matter what my military friends say.
Even if you're not big into jerky, give the spicy jerky here a chance. It totally changed my opinion on jerky forever. I have yet to find one which is even in the same league as this.
Service can be really nice or not so great and prices are pretty high but you know what? When you have the very best version of your product that is available on the market it's worth whatever you charge for it. Within reason. And these prices are just about within reason.
While you're at the Market, also try a lemon & sugar crepe from the awful service spot Crepes De Luxe, and be sure to have a Brat from the wonderful Frank's Bratwurst too. These three items (along with this jerky) are the antithesis of the wurst things you can ever eat.
If you love them, contact me and I'll tell you more life-changing eats in NE Ohio, that aren't in this wonderful market.
And Daya would like me to rap some more about this jerky, even though she's from the Burgh (a lot of Clevelanders don't like the Burgh much).
Years later I was hungrier than Hanks in CASTAWAY
And feeling more current than Michael FARADAY
So I went to Cleveland looking for a FIANCE
And I found Daya doing Karaoke of HIDEAWAY
I told I could penetrate her deeper than a GAMMA RAY
And she said, only if I help her get a gift for FATHER'S DAY
So I didn't miss this opportunity to LEAD ASTRAY
A girl who went from "Don't Let Me Down" to being a RUNAWAY
We went to West Side Market and I said I had an MBA
She said that we could date, but not til SATURDAY
And in the meantime, did I know the way to SAN JOSE
I told her yes, but first, let's nibble on some TAKE AWAY
We had a Frank's Brat while we duetted on YESTERDAY
And at Crepes De Luxe it gave me pleasure to UNDERPAY
But like Sit Still, Look Pretty, this rap's on OVERPLAY
So let's just get some more Jerky from J & J
WHAT
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