| rev:text
| - I should have my Elite status revoked for reviewing a chain hotel, but I had an unexpectedly good time at the Pittsburgh Hyatt for my sister's third and final wedding reception on Father's Day weekend and so it deserves a review.
Why does a Hyatt Regency get 5 stars?
- the hotel is attached to the airport, but far away enough from the tarmac so you can't hear the planes. That means you don't have to deal with traffic, crowds, or angry taxi/shuttle drivers
- the hotel staff is pleasant, friendly, and helpful
- the suites are large and comfortable while maintaining a solid middle-class feel for us non-rich non-snobbies
- as a hotel guest, you get the privilege of running amock in the airmall after you are escorted through security by the police.
- the extremely well presented and executed dinner in the grand ballroom.
After I got off the plane and grabbed my luggage, I raced down the moving sidewalks, T-1000 style, and made a right turn into the Hyatt lobby in the span of about 3 minutes. I discovered that my spoiled ass got to stay in a suite. I really enjoyed having 5 pillows to lay my sleepy head down on after a bruising red-eye, even when I only used two and threw the rest on the ground just for fun.
When I was getting dressed for the wedding reception, I discovered that my new fancy shirt required cufflinks. Being a shabby dresser and a cheapass, I don't have cufflinks. With all the cars rented out for the US Open that weekend, I was limited on options. The front desk informed me that I could get a pass to go into the airmall, but I'd have to go through security. Another 3 minute walk back to the airport and an additional 20 minutes of dealing with cops and security scanners, I was back inside the airport with a good hour left to shop. I emerged victorious, garish American flag cufflinks in tow and a father's day present to boot.
I went to check out my sister's bridal suite. It was massive. I've been to the Century Plaza Hotel suite in Century City (just to check out the view, take a piss, and leave), and the Hyatt's room was just as big. However, the decor was less classy and the view far inferior - it overlooked the massive expanse of the airport parking lot. The best part about the suite was that there was a LCD TV in the bathroom. My bro-in-law said there's nothing better than taking a shower and watching TV at the same time, except for taking a dump and watching TV at the same time.
I helped with some of the pre-reception duties by ordering the workers around. They rearranged the tables and setup the DVD of my sister's wedding ceremony while barely putting up any attitude. Then the guests flooded in. I'm pretty sure every single Chinese person in Pennsylvania, New York, and Massachusetts was there. Soon afterwards, dinner began. The executive chef had created a special Asian-themed five course meal just for the reception, which included some fowl wrapped over mushroom, sweet peppers and sticky rice, to go along with filet mignon. I realized there was an open-bar, and with the assistance of awesome bartender Don, I proceeded to get drunk in front of my parents and my sister's in-laws. Oh yeah, that's why I had so much fun at the Hyatt.
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