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| - Note #1: Due to my compliance with the restaurant's bylaws, which forbid the use of cellular phones, I did not snap any pictures of the food or the diner's eclectic decor.
Note #2: CASH ONLY!! An ATM sits near the entrance for your convenience.
During an instance of vacation day hooky, Kay and I needed to go to the West Mifflin Wal-Mart (*groan*), but the lady was strongly craving a no-frills diner breakfast. That's when I remembered the controversial Hot Metal Diner, a local chuck wagon that has become a suburban institution of sorts.
Fittingly located in a shopping plaza across the road from a Harley-Davidson dealership, Hot Metal Diner can be a crass, unpleasant experience for those who refuse to follow the posted guidelines OR take themselves too seriously. Having addressed that, the demeanor of the servers was not something we had problems with. If anything, our server in particular was a model of politeness and efficiency.
I did have a minor gripe about some of the signs that were on the walls until I recalled that the restaurant proudly proclaims itself to be a "kid-unfriendly" place as per a sticker on the front door. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but a youngster was dining with his mother behind us, and if she wasn't offended...
'Tis a minor shame since I know my inner child was wide-eyed and smiling upon seeing the giant rooster that sits in the middle of the house as well as those colossal barber shears mounted near the front door. There's quite a bit of amusing wall candy to peep at while you're awaiting breakfast or lunch, speaking of which...
The Breakfast Soft Tacos (2 to an order) were not the least bit duff. The white tortillas are unassumingly filled with fluffy yellow clouds of scrambled egg and shredded cheddar. Meat costs a buck extra, so I asked for bacon in one and sweet sausage in another. Ulp! A special request!
"Eh, we don't do that here, baldy," our waitress said with grin and a wink only to honor my customization on the sly.
Soft, cheesy, ooey, gooey, and as warm as mid-afternoon in August, each parcel of protein and dairy got me fueled up but good.
Hot Metal Diner doesn't do desserts, unless yinz wanna count their Grilled Cinnamon Roll. Flaky as a croissant and iced like a donut, this utility hole cover of a pastry was smeared with a dab of half-melted butter, and man, did it quiet my squeaky sweet tooth.
Tattooed welders and portly truckers looked on curiously and chortled good-naturedly as I finished Kay's excellent placemat-sized pancake and heap of textbook-crisp corned beef for her.
"Damn, you sure can eat, kid!" One middle-aged fella said to me. "You work around here? I never seen ya before."
"Nah, I'm a South Hills guy, but I work in the East End. We both laid off today," I replied.
"Ha, ha! Don't get in no trouble," he advised as he nodded and left the premises.
A veteran of the restaurant wars, owner Wendy Betten is your unapologetic, smart-aleck, potty-mouthed aunt who loves ya dearly. She'll tease ya about your hair (or lack thereof in my case) yet will knock anyone who badmouths ya over the head with a rollin' pin. And as long as your skin is elephant-thick and your sense of humor is hearty, you're welcome to grab a seat and a bite to eat anytime she's open.
P.S. On Sundays from 10AM to 1PM, HMD features live music! No kiddin'!
P.P.S. Rick Sebak, a much-acclaimed local documentarian, once filmed a memorable piece on Hot Metal Diner for WQED, Pittsburgh's public television affiliate...
http://vimeo.com/13951255
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