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| - On paper, I really like what Alchemy 'n' Ale is trying to do here. But in practice, and I really hate to say it, a lot of things fell apart.
So I got a Groupon for this place when it first opened, and I was super excited about it. Got a little nervous as I noticed more and more mediocre reviews, but we went in for dinner on Friday with an open mind. Easy parking across the street, easy to get a table. Our server strolled by to describe the drafts and give us the bottle list. I got a draft of Michigan Pumpkin Spiced Ale, which I didn't like very much but that's my fault for not tasting it. Strong spice flavors, like cinnamon and cloves, and there was a sugary rim around the glass which I didn't care for. Oops! I'll taste it next time.
So we drool over the menus before ordering an appetizer of Salt-Roasted Beets. And let me say - I really need to rake them over the coals for this one. This dish is described thusly: "Chilled, creme fraiche, peppered greens, pickled grapefruit, chives, lemon oil." In reality? Someone roasted a beet. Then it got cooled down and cut into random size wedges. Someone put the wedges in some salty-watery liquid, then put them on a plate next to some arugula. No. No. Nothing about this was $8. The beets had this sort of filmyness on them from the liquid that was really unappetizing. Nowhere did I get "pickled grapefruit, chives, lemon oil." or creme fraiche for that matter! I mean, really. This was ridiculous. And I love beets! It's hard to get me to NOT enjoy beets! But somehow, they succeeded.
So we awaited our dinner, somewhat nervously. So my boyfriend's "A 'n' A" burger arrives - that's a burger with blue cheese, caramelized onions, port glaze, and probably some other stuff. We are told my food is coming shortly. At LEAST five minutes go by, no sign of my food. My boyfriend shares his fries with me until we finally decide to just start eating his burger. When I took my bite, I took a look to see if it was properly cooked medium-rare. What I saw on the inside was, frankly, uncooked meat. I am sure of this. I'm not being picky. The texture was different - it was the texture of raw beef. Like a patty that hadn't been thrown on the grill yet. No. We stopped a server to mention both that my food didn't yet exist, and that my boyfriend's food was basically not finished cooking.
The server took it back, and a few minutes later came back to apologize, saying both she and the chef totally agreed that this burger was not currently in a state of being edible. She said, "can I get you a drink on the house? Or a shot?" We said yes, and as she went off to get the shots I thought to myself that I'd rather have been offered, you know, a free burger. Or something. We still had beers to drink and hadn't really planned on taking shots. In retrospect, I think it'd be better service to take something we had already purchased OFF the bill instead of giving us a free something we weren't going to get anyway. But we didn't really feel in a position to negotiate when she suggested shots, so we accepted. My boyfriend got lured in by the word "Jameson," turns out the shot was something like Jameson + butterscotch schnapps, tasting much more strongly of schnapps than Jameson, with an orange juice chaser. Kind of weird, but okay.
So a little while later, my boyfriend's burger appears and I am told that my Shepherd's pie is still cooking and will be out soon. What in the hell? Seriously, 5 minutes later, my food appears. Why is that happening? There are only two of us! I understand when you have large parties, the meals get staggered. But you can't time a burger and a shepherd's pie to be done at the same time? Seriously, it kind of sucks. I was starting to believe my shepherd's pie didn't really exist, and then it arrived, bubbling super hot from the oven. My boyfriend's burger was properly cooked this time, so he got to eat it - and quite liked it, I think - and I got to eat my pie. I liked my food too - it was pretty simple and traditional, but rich with meaty gravy and yummy potatoes. If the food had been brought out this way to begin with (and those salt-roasted beets didn't exist), this could've been a 4-star review. But alas.
We finished our food, I needed to take some of mine to go since it was humungous, and then we got our check. Now, our server told us later that he was training so I forgive him this, but he put down that I got an $11 beer on the bill (when really it was $5), which I'm really glad we noticed and brought to his attention. Not down with accidentally paying twice as much! When we left, we pretty much agreed - the servers did their best to make up for our experience, but we're pretty much scared away from Alchemy 'n' Ale. I really wanted to love it, but sadly I didn't even come close.
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