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| - B-Spot is a tsunami of a meatwave that wants only to envelope you in its beefy goodness until you suffocate in sweet surrender.
I've eaten thousands of burgers, ranging from craptastic to utterly meh to tearjearking-tasty. It's not superlative to say that B-Spot completely reinvents the category. They start with a custom grind provided by Pat LaFrieda's Altar of Beef in Brooklyn (Yes, THAT Pat LaFrieda). The grind is composed of three cuts, one of which was short rib and the other two I forget (brisket and tenderloin? Damn, I forget. More research necessary. All I know is it's not the Giant Eagle Ground Chuck Valu-Pak).
On my first visit, I had the Porky, as I had just moved back from the South. I learned to love me some barbecue in the Carolinas, but frankly, it's even better as a burger topping. Add some fresh bacon slaw and coffee barbecue sauce, and you're *almost* ready to go...
...after you hit the pickle bar, that is. The selection of house-pickled items varies slightly from day-to-day, but there are usually pickled cucumbers, red onions, and jalapenos. I've also seen okra and Hungarian hot peppers on the pickle bar. I added pickled red onion and green tomato to my Porky and broke into uncontrollable tears. My server kindly offered to locate psychiatric assistance, and I assured her I would be fine as long as I could use the roll of paper towels as Kleenex. The beef was cooked perfectly to temp, and so incredibly flavorful, with just enough seasoning. The fat in the short rib makes for an incredible mouthfeel. At 10 bucks, it's a freaking bargain. I'd be happy to pay twice as much for such a quality product. Considering that Rodeo Food Clown Guy Fieri charges $17 for a burger... B-Spot is doing the community a great service.
On a subsequent visit, I tried the Yo!, which I describe as "South Philly on a Burger". With fried salami *and* capicola, it was a little greasy. But since they listed those ingredients on the menu, it was my own damn fault. The creamy provolone and hot peppers played off each other nicely, and just a touch of shasha sauce (a house-made mustard-and-white-wine sauce, spiced with Hungarian banana peppers) set a nice balance.
If you want more sauce--be it ketchup, barbecue sauce, shasha sauce--there is a caddy of condiments on each table. But seriously. Ketchup? That's for amateurs. Jus sayin.
The Lola fries--seasoned with fresh rosemary, are to die for. I just wish they had some aioli to go with! Be forewarned that a portion of Lola fries is enough for two to share. Unless you're a disgusting hog like me.
The menu is rounded out by some other sandwiches (brats--which my ex-butcher father tells me are delicious, fried bologna, and chicken). There are some salads (Why would you ever do this to yourself?), and a whole bunch of milkshakes, including adult variants. I think those are for the suburban soccer moms who predominate this geographic area. I've sadly passed on the milkshakes and bourbons on each of my visits, as I did not wish to slip into a coma while driving on I-71. I suppose I'm just going to have to return with my chauffeur.
The service is rudimentary, but pleasant, which is even more spectacular when you consider that most of the floor staff are aged 16-24. They've clearly had a lot of training, and are excited to work where they do. Thank you for being so friendly, even when I slob half my burger onto my bib.
Of all the burger joints in Cleveland (or anywhere, really), only Johnny's Little Bar comes remotely close as far as quality of the burger grind. I'd be happy for someone to prove me wrong, but until then, Michael Symon demonstrates that he knows his way around an animal as well as anyone. This isn't anything fancy--it's just blue collar fare elevated with top-quality ingredients, and terrific execution behind the line.
Now shut up and take my money!
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