| rev:text
| - The first time I want to the colorfully titled "Dog's Bullocks" on Queen West it was the day before new year's eve. It was part of that one magical week between Xmas and New Years, where a lot of people are in from out of town, the stresses of Christmas time are over and people are wont to celebrate. It was also a friend's birthday, and sort of a prequel to new years eve, so drinks and merriment were the order of the day. I soon took full advantage of their $12 mixed drink pitcher special. A couple more of these were had, the touch-screen mp3-powers jukebox was pawed to near-death, and The rest of the night is sort of a blur. A wonderful, vodka induced blur.
The next time, however, was a little different. I walked in perhaps naively expecting the same merry atmosphere that had inhabited it a week or so prior, but instead got a nearly empty bar. Any bar can look like a utopia when it's full of people and the drinks flow cheaply, but the cracks in the veneer really start to show through when it's empty. The interior design stops short of classy, but isn't scummy enough to be quaint, so it kind of just lands on tacky. Another major factor for the Dog's Bullocks is it's size and wide-open layout. When it's empty it looks REALLY empty, and it feels more like you're at Bennigan's with your family, than at a smallish local pub trying to get shitfaced. Perhaps a layout change could help the bar seem more cozy? Might I suggest levels?
On my previous visit, a Vodka-7 pitcher was pretty much established as "My drink" at that bar, so thats what I ordered upon my return. It was poured for me, and I paid with a twenty. Then I waited. And kept waiting. Then I had no choice but to do one of those "hey, yeah, listen, I know I'm getting sort of a deal here, but that doesn't mean you should take a presumptive $8 tip, guy". I'm no stranger to tip etiquette, and I consider myself a pretty good tipper, but if theres one thing I hate about the whole thing is the presumptive tip. Don't make me get into what they say about when people assume things.
So my attitude on the place had soured after that little snafu. I soon came to learn it was Karaoke night, which can be fun if done right, even in the bar is mostly empty. I've learned the key is to have a host that basically triples everyone else's enthusiasm. Sadly, this host did not. He had a really holier-than-thou attitude, and a sarcastic, dark sense of humor. I'd be all over that kind of freshness in other instances, but when you're hosting an activity, you shouldn't be making people feel lame or uncool for simply participating. When I watch Karaoke, I want the host to bound out of his seat for an enthusiastic rendition of Kiss's "I was made for Lovin' You" and do Michael Jackson kicks between participants, not a seated, sedated, sarcastic hipster saying "yeah. here's another song or whatever."
It made the whole affair even more of a bummer.
In the scant few times I've been back at the behest of others, there's always been a hesitant pause at the doorway. It just doesn't look inviting or fun. So I guess if you need a wide open space to bring 20-30 friends, this might be the spot, but if you're looking for fun with a small group, there are plenty of better places close by.
Who knew a bar named after testicles wouldn't be a barrel of laughs?
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