| rev:text
| - Sticking with the theme of choosing one thing to do and then doing it exceptionally well, Randy's is the greatest place in the Universe for Jamaican patties.
I know what you're thinking.
1) Jamaican patties? What gives?
2) Four stars for a Jamaican patty joint?
3) The Universe? Really?
Allow me to answer each objection in turn...
1) Depending on which suburb you grew up in, your exposure to Jamaican patties may have been limited to the limp, semi-nuked versions sold at your high school cafeteria by insane women who would shriek "WITH GRAVY?!?!?!" at no one in particular. Still, they were inexpensive and spicy, and the fact that you'd keep returning to them in adulthood suggests that even then you knew of a world beyond your windowless high school...
2) So you spend your formative years exploring new schools, new peer groups, new cuisines. You pursue and undergraduate education in the big city, and visit all manner of dives with all manner of people serving all manner of food and drink. Your horizons, culinary and otherwise expand, only to shrink when you go to the best law school in the country located on the worst brutalist campus in the world. Still, dedicated pursuit of knowledge and good times yields a few gems. You learn in both places how great, cheap eats can be found anywhere, especially if you ignore the quotations around the word "beef",,,also, they're surprisingly available late at night, and remarkably good at mitigating the effects of a night out.
3) As an adult, they're not really a 'treat' though definitely junk-or-convenience food. Once in a while, if lunch is on the light side, or a commuting snack is required, they fit the bill. Until you move into an area nearby, and while out for a walk surveying the new neighborhood you're drawn in by the aroma of spices you can't even name (OK, allspice, hot peppers and cloves, to start), and slide by the dodgy dudes selling bootleg videos. You order, and finally achieve Proustian fulfillment of all the promise you sensed back in high school. The crust is flaky and golden yellow. The filling hot in temperature and eye-watering spice level. You detect actual beef, and a blend of spices that's damn near brilliant. Your life is fulfilled, You are an adult, living in the city with your own family, free from the shackles of suburbia. You make your own choices and you own them. And your choices, your life, this patty, are all delicious.
They also sell oxtail stew and other stuff, but I'll have to come up with better reasons to try them.
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