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| - I have no idea where the hell everyone else is getting their four and five star reviews. Did I somehow manage to go to a different Rib Cage? Was I sucked into a wormhole and transported to an alternate universe where everything is the opposite? Whatever the case, I didn't get it at all.
First of all, let's talk about the location. This tiny little hole-in-the-wall of a bar has changed hands so many times over the last 15 years I've lost count. I lived in Cleveland Heights for nearly 10 years and got to witness most of them first hand. Needless to say, none of the incarnations have been anything much more than dive bars. This latest rendition keeps the tradition alive.
I'm not saying dive bars are a bad thing, just not my thing. The Rib Cage is small, dark (most of the lighting coming from a string of Christmas lights over the bar) and unchanged since the last time I sat at the 10-seat bar sometime back in 2007. It's definitely a shot and a beer joint. One of those two stars is because they had Black Box Brewing Company oatmeal coffee stout on tap. There were three other taps, one being PBR.
Sure, as others have mentioned, the bartender is pretty friendly. He greeted us when we walked in and took out drink order. After that, it went downhill. Between our appetizer and when our entrees arrived it was over 40 minutes. Yeah, 4-0. Something else worth mentioning, there were four other people in the entire place and two of them weren't even eating. Unacceptable. It's BBQ. Doesn't that pretty much mean that everything is already prepared? What the hell were they doing back there the whole time?
Now for the food. I wasn't impressed. I've had a lot of BBQ and soul food over the years and this stuff was pretty average - at best. Here's what we ordered:
Fried Green Tomatoes: These were probably the best thing we ate. Crispy, not greasy, well-seasoned and the Sriracha mayo drizzle was delicious.
Cornbread: It came with both combos and it was pretty good. I thought it was a little dry but overall not bad. Should have asked for some butter.
Combo Platter #1: Turkey ribs, pulled pork, mac an cheese, slaw. The turkey was tender and juicy and the pulled pork was just OK but the slaw was bland and the mac and cheese reminded me of Stouffer's without the salt.
Combo Patter #2: Rib tips, brisket, greens and baked beans. Not good at all. The rib tips were extremely chewy and filled with bits of cartilage, all but one piece of the brisket was edible, the rest was gelatinous fat. The greens were OK, on the salty side, but the bakes beans were tasty - smoky, sweet and spicy.
Some other missteps:
Everything was pretty spicy - the mac and cheese, the baked beans, and even the greens all had a significant level of heat. We ordered the regular BBQ sauce and even I was surprised by how much heat it had. I like heat just not to the point where it numbs my taste buds for the entire meal.
We ordered two different sauces on one of the samplers and it was delivered with only one.
The service was inattentive. By the time we had gotten half-way through our meal the place was empty. We weren't given waters, they don't have iced tea (A BBQ joint that doesn't have iced tea?) and our server spent most of the time leaning on the bar chatting with the bartender. We also watched as a party of two actually had to come up to the bar to ask for their bill.
There's no reason that I'd ever come back to the Rib Cage. It's essentially a tiny dive bar that serves ho-hum BBQ/soul food.
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