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  • I'm not going to get into why I avoided dining at Fernando's when I've had the opportunity, but when Kay didn't feel like cooking this evening, and a flyer in the Pennysaver revealed that they delivered to Beechview (among many other neighborhoods!), we decided to take a leap off the stage...and nobody caught us. Ouch. Yup, 90 minutes (no kiddin'!) after we spoke to the genial lady on the phone (the coupons had the wrong expiration date on them), our barely lukewarm food arrived. Fernando's Roast Beef & American sub was the only stand-out. A sweet "homemade Southwest dressing" that came off as Russian or Thousand Island complimented the supple, better-than-Arby's roast beef wonderfully. A bun that tasted freshly-baked, and of course American cheese and good 'ol l-t-o finished off what was a dandy of a grinder. Fernando's needs to stick with hoagies and nothing but. My side of potato salad tasted like chilled mashed potatoes with some mayonnaise folded into them. The four shrink-wrapped, Chips Ahoy-sized chocolate chip cookies I had for dessert cost me $2 and seemed to have been half-baked. The true dud of the entire meal was the Buffalo Chicken Pizza, however. On top of what was a strange sort of synthetic flatbread (see my review for the Bridgeville Philly Soft Pretzel Factory location) were cubes of "grilled" chicken breast that had that tasted to have been boiled, a BBQ sauce that probably came from a bottle, a dull provolone/mozzarella/Romano blend, and raw vegetables (onions,mushrooms, green peppers). The advertised garlic was as invisible as a Stealth bomber. So, I'm gonna have to go with a "no" on Fernando's, okayyy? Yeahhh... I've seen "Office Space" a few too many times, yes, but I'm sure Lumberg would concur with my evaluation.
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