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| - Sigh. Yet another disappointment and another lesson in why you should never give second chances. I really try to stick to my general rule of never setting foot in a place with less than a 4-star average, but in my naivete, I thought perhaps things had changed in the last decade. In a word, nope.
We were promptly greeted and given a nice, three-seater, rounded booth, but off the bat I found it awkward. A party of two in that setup means that you can't sit next to each other without being perpendicular and facing different directions. You could opt to sit on opposing sides of the booth, but then you're five feet apart, which is also annoying for a couple. Not interested in starting off the experience with a complaint, we opted to suck it up and make the best of it. Again, really awkward choice for a party of two, but we saw several other couples that got stuck in the same booths. Just weird.
Next up, the chips and salsa. While i appreciate that they were complimentary, the chips were somewhat flavorless and stale, and the salsa looked and tasted like someone took expired, store-bought mild salsa and mixed it 50/50 with lukewarm water. This is the only place I have ever been where I legitimately preferred to take my stale chips down dry rather than eating them with salsa. It was that bad. What kind of Mexican restaurant manages to screw up chips and salsa?
Next up, the entrees, probably the biggest let down of the night. I ordered a chimichanga, the "Grande" meal, so-called because it comes with "everything". Their version of "everything" basically means that they up charge from the regular chimichanga dinner, just so you can have beans, rice, sour cream and guacamole. Why in the hell do I have to pay extra for what every other legit Mexican restaurant would give you as part of any chimichanga entree, usually for a lot less money? The nickel and dime bullshit didn't stop there. My wife ordered tacos and the server asked if she wanted the sour cream and guacamole on the side. Since my wife hates both, she said that was fine. Only after we got the bill, did we find out that this was two separate side orders we neither needed nor wanted, and they charged us $3.78 between the two of them. The sour cream was as thick as freshly scooped ice cream, and the guacamole was not fresh or flavorful at all. What a total rip off and dick move by the server.
To add insult to injury, they are stingy on the portion size. Smallest chimichanga I have ever gotten at a Mexican restaurant, and my wife only got two tacos, both of which were made with shitty tortillas that came apart almost immediately. Neither entree had much flavor, and the chimichanga was one of the worst I've ever had. If you imagine eating unseasoned, flavorless chicken that has been wrapped in wet, mushy cardboard, that about sums it up. Absolutely no crunch, no flavor, no nothing.
Last but not least, I must address the clientele in here. Even though it was at least half empty, due the late hour (after 8:30pm), there were still screaming, bastard children all over, along with their degenerate parents, who of course did nothing to stop them from disrupting everyone else's dinner. Why the hell anyone has their toddlers and infants awake at this hour, I can't even imagine, but it was really off-putting to have some screaming little shit race by our booth every five minutes. Am I in a daycare center or a restaurant?
When the bill showed up, no booze and no appetizers, two entrees with under-sized portions and crap quality, one scoop of inedible sour cream and one scoop of nasty guacamole came in at over $40 before the tip. I can't even remember the last time we spent that much at a Mexican restaurant, and this was probably half the amount of food we usually get anywhere else too. To call it highway robbery would be an understatement. These people should be ashamed of what they deliver for the price they charge.
Would I return? Fuck no!
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