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| - TL;DR: The first zip line is a lie!
We went in the mid-afternoon on a Thursday, thinking that it probably wouldn't be too busy in the middle of the week when most people are at work. We arrived on time, filled out our forms quickly but then had to wait around for 10-15 mins while they waited for other people to show up. Finally the instructor came and got our "group" together and went through a long speech teaching us about the equipment, how to use it, and how to stay safe. Just as he was finishing up, another family that arrived late were added to our group. The instructor started over from the beginning and we had to listen to the entire speech again. The instructor then had us demonstrate several procedures we just learned, culminating by zipping down a test zip line that is about six feet off the ground. I was not happy to find out that they consider this zip line #1 of 5. The "zip line" is a joke, it takes about three seconds to descend three feet. Calling this a zip line is practically false advertising. We waited for the entire group to finish the test jump, listened some more, and were finally free to go. It had probably been 45 mins at that point since we arrived.
My friend and I jumped to the front of the line and were able to get right into the course for #2. It was the first time I'd done this so I was slower than my friend but we still managed to keep up a good pace without much effort. The climb was fun and the obstacles were interesting if not overly challenging. The landing strips are not well designed, they slope upwards at a crazy angle and trip you but the wood chips are relatively soft so we didn't mind. The zip was fairly long and the view of the forest was pretty cool. I was actually starting to think that all that waiting around was paying off.
That feeling lasted until we got to zip line #3. There was a half dozen people waiting below the first tree and at least as many already up in the trees on the course. This wasn't my group, who was coming up behind us, we had already run into the group before us. The instructors tell you that you can "play through slower groups, just like in golf", and that's true in theory but it's false in practice. You can only have three people on each platform, one person on each crossing, kids can't be more than one crossing away from a parent, and lines form and platforms fill up. You can't just skip in front of everyone who is in line, and you can't tell people to stop and stay where they are so you can move to the next platform. You can skip around people now and then but expect to get stuck frequently. So, back to the story, after all that waiting we basically did one zip line, then got in line to start waiting again. Now I was ready to ask for my money back at this point. We'd been there a long time and had spent very little time having any fun. After failing to find any employee anywhere, I took a long walk back to the office to complain, and they gave us permission to skip straight to four. We proceeded to station #4 which, thankfully, only had a few people on it, well ahead of us.
We completed four then we followed the path to #5 which led to a tree with no way to climb. We were very confused and wanted to ask someone but there was not an employee anywhere within sight or earshot. After blowing our whistles for about five minutes, finally one of the instructors came walking slowly up the path and informed us with annoyance that #5 was closed. He acted like we should have known even though no one told us and there were no signs posted. I wish they'd told us when we got there that 1 out of 5, actually let's be honest here, that 1 out of 4 zip lines were out of commission. We could have rescheduled for another day.
So the instructor tells us that since #5 was closed, we could repeat one of the other zips. So we went back to #3 where the last people from our original group were still waiting to go up on three so we got in line. We finally got up and were able to go around one family but almost immediately got stuck behind another family. After we zipped three, we went to redo four but four was now full with another group and so was two. We decided to redo three instead and walked back over to it. We got up quickly this time but quickly got stuck behind another family. We finished the zip and that was it, we were done. We were fairly disappointed.
So let's recap. The first zip line is a lie. The other courses are short, but still frequently congested. The only reason you don't finish the entire thing quickly is because you're inevitably stuck waiting behind people. This says to me that there are too many people on the course. They seem understaffed; you can never find an employee except near the office. At $57 a person, more than the cost of a Cedar Point ticket, you should be getting a premium experience; this isn't it. Save your money for something better.
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