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| - Remember that time back in college when you were so stoned at like 3 in the morning with a serious case of the munchies? And the only thing you could find in the frat house refrigerator was a bag of frozen french fries that had been in there since your freshman year. But being desperate, you threw them in the oven at 500 degrees ('cause you just couldn't imagine waiting 15 minutes to eat). And then you burned yourself on the pan when you pulled them out, but you were too stoned to feel the pain (although you were quite certain you were going to feel it in the morning). Do you remember how, after just a few bites of what might just be the nastiest thing you ever ate, you threw them in the garbage and thought to yourself, "What's the use? What's the point to all of this? Why do I even bother? Why do I even go on" And when you woke up late the next afternoon, you went straight down to the registrar's office and changed your major to philosophy. Then you started getting drunk and smoking pot every night with that long-haired old guy who hangs out at the bar, the guy who never showers and always hits on the freshmen girls who sneak in on the weekends; only to find yourself dropping out of college a few months later because you just couldn't disseminate the intellectual struggle between being and nothingness, and your professors were just too stupid to understand you. And now, 20 years later, you're living back home in your parents house, unable to keep a job and drinking away your paycheck every night in that same college bar. And when you look at yourself in the broken bathroom mirror you suddenly realize that you have become that old, smelly drunk who still hits on college girls. And you look back at your life and think to yourself -
"If only I'da skipped those fries, everything in my life would be different now."
Trust me, those fries were gourmet compared to In-N-Out Burger's. They tasted like powdery, freezer burned match-sticks that had been reheated under a heat lamp - it was difficult to tell if they were made from potatoes or from some Star Trek food simulator machine.
My burger was equally disgusting. It is fair to say the only part of the burger that did not suck was the lettuce. The bun was stale and dry, the browned skin of the bun's top peeled off like 60 year old wallpaper from an old pickle factory, leaving what looked and tasted like a frozen bun that was thawed on high in the microwave..
I have nothing to complain about with the vanilla shake - at last, nothing to complain about.
In all told, my last visit to In-N-Out Burger was as disappointing as anything you could imagine. My guess is, there IS a limit to how much you can cut-back on quality just to save a dime. It's a shame for such an iconic brand.
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