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| - "A haircut a week keeps the doctor away." - said a doctor, probably
Do right by yourself, but more importantly do right by your hair and go to the Tower Club at the Look Style Society in Tivoli Village. It's the only place in town with unlimited haircuts for the low (low) price of $49.99. It's the best deal around since $5 footlongs and those are no longer with us (RIP). On top of that, you can finally put an end to your lifelong fear of dying of thirst while having your hair cut since the Tower Club provides complimentary (that means free) beer for your own health and enjoyment - because they care about you.
Once you enter their luxurious hair palace, ask - no, demand - to make an appointment with Monica. She's a modern-day Da Vinci with scissors, a stylist's stylist, crafting masterpieces out of heads of hair; and she's pretty cool too.
As pieces of your old life slowly drift to the floor as strands of hair, you'll soon see the visage of a newer, better person in the mirror. That's quality service you can't put a price on, but again, it is $49.99 a month. And if that wasn't enough, Monica will also shampoo and massage your hair so you're ready to take on the rest of your day, cleaner and more relaxed than ever before. So do yourself a favor, do the people who have to look at you a favor, and go see Monica at The Tower Club today.
Sincerely,
A satisfied customer with very nice hair
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