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| - Homer is a term in baseball which refers to a "base hit on which the batter scores a run" - more commonly known as a home run. If I were to use baseball terms to describe my experiences at Boëhmer, I would probably use the term - bunt. Why? Well a bunt just passes as a move in baseball that allows the batter to start running, but is not a real "hit" if you ask me. I've been to Boëhmer three times in the past year and I think, like a bunt, they are fooling us into believing that they will give their diners a run for their money.
Boëhmer is located on the increasingly popular Ossington Strip. You could easily miss it if you weren't looking at the actual numbers as signage is next to invisible (white letters displayed on the window - good luck trying to see that at night!)
It should be noted that those of you looking to dine on Parisian time should look elsewhere, as there is a 2 hour time limit per seating.
The space itself is very open, with a sparkling arborous chandelier hanging over its largest table. The bland white walls are adorned with canvas art from local artists and then printed fades to bring life to an otherwise sterile interior. Seating at the bar is available in addition to a private dining room and a lounge which are both tucked into their own nooks.
The prices at Boëhmer are quite grand with entrées ranging from $18-$36. Sides are on the light side, but an à la carte menu of sides are also available.
It should be noted that the menu on their website is outdated, and should be used as a reference guide to the types of dishes to expect. Even the cocktail list had been rewritten. I ordered a Pink Rain cocktail which was a rum-based drink with Campari, ginger, hibiscus syrup, pineapple and lime. I quite enjoyed this drink as it was refreshing, not overly sweetened, and the hints of ginger gave the drink a bit of a kick without being overpowering. The lime was subtle. My dining companion ordered a glass of 2009 Monte Velho which was a lighter red which he enjoyed with his main.A complimentary amuse-bouche of smoked sausage with Matzu apples was served which reminded me of Chinese sausage (Lap Cheong) with a bit of heat to it. The foie gras appetizer served with a bitter black currant reduction and Matzu apples was most disappointing. I love foie gras, and have tasted many mouth-watering, tongue-melting, buttery livers in my day - which was not the case at Boëhmer which served a rather dry and compact one. Mains were most disappointing. A wild boar, that was so tough and dry took strength and perseverance to cut through. At one point I just felt like eating it caveman-style with my hands and tearing into the beast with my teeth. The spaëtzle was note-worthy; it was light and fluffy and the braised cabbage was nice and tender. It gave my jaw a break. The Venison was so raw that I was about to wander into the nearby woods to see if a carcass was still lying around from a fresh kill. I am no stranger to game meats, but this was gamey. I will add though that both the jus in the dishes were flavourful. Our server was so unwelcoming that her name might as well have been Medusa with her stone-like indifference. It would be a cold day in hell before I would order what she recommended with her unconvincing demeanor.
Verdict:
Boëhmer is located in a hip and trendy neighbourhood. Its interior is nothing special as I can't count the amount of times I've walked into a restaurant that features wood as its theme. The service was terrible and the food was less than stellar although they aren't shy to charge you a pretty nickel for it.
I had a FabFind certificate in hand which had a $50 value to cushion the steep prices. With tax and tip our bill came to $158 for a shared appetizer, 2 entrées, 1 bar rail and a glass of wine. What we actually paid was $50 less than that, which would've rang in at a little shy of $100. And that's still pretty steep!
Will I be coming back? Me thinks not!
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