| rev:text
| - People love to rag on Desert Sky Mall, like it's an American Idol contestant or a homeless person. Like your criticism is essential to its existence.
"It's too small. They have nothing good. It's so cheap and dirty. It's a shit mall. You're better off going to Arizona Mills or Arrowhead."
Like the people who drive all the way out to Westgate and still manage to muster the inanity to complain of how it isn't Scottsdale, these same jibbajabberers clearly have no grasp on the area and its economic status. They don't live here (surprise), and make a point to mention EVERY TIME they visit the west side how much they hate it.
Yeah, fuck you too.
Sure, Desert Sky is ghetto. Because IT'S IN the ghetto.
There's a reason so many people take the bus to this mall. It's not because they're environmentally aware.
To better illustrate the socio-economic climate of Desert Sky, I have prepared a neatly compiled bullet-point presentation.
* At any given moment, one or more stores in DSM is going out of business. Some don't even make it over the 6 month hump. So if you see something in that smoke shop you really like, better get while you're there, because next year it'll be a perfumery.
* They can't even afford decent food court food. Other malls have Orange Julius and Hot Dog on a Stick. They get Flaming Wok (who carries the exact same menu as Panda Express but still manages to somehow be less authentic) and a Subway counter staffed by seemingly invisible sandwich artists.
* And you thought the "free samples" guy at your mall was annoying. DSM has the most aggressive kiosk workers in all of mall-hood. Their cell phone plan is such an affordable value that they're willing to barrel through other patrons and ambush you behind signs and walls to let you know how awesome their deals are. Sure, you didn't want that sugar-coated nut, but at least nobody was injured in the process. Except maybe the underpaid workers whose nut-harvesting skills were exploited by their cheapskate employer.
* It's pretty common knowledge that one of the department stores (hint; shares it's name with an island and a type of blue-colored liqueur) will issue you a store credit card on the spot. No application process. No waiting period. No wonder everyone comes here packing heat. All these people in holey shirts and torn up jeans walking out of stores with brand new stereos and speakers, their faces shifty with looks of guilt and/or disbelief.
* The "special attractions" here blow. Business is so bad the caricaturist is closed on weekends. ON WEEKENDS. I went to the mall yesterday and the Santa they brought in had ONE kid waiting in line to get their picture taken. One. People can't even afford to TELL Santa what they want for Christmas. Woe upon the world.
* The Steve and Barry's here is closing down. How FUBAR'd is the economy when not even the combined endorsements of Amanda Byrnes, Sarah Jessica Parker, and the WWE can sell your 9 dollar jeans?
* I have on more than one occasion been asked by fellow patrons not to eat my Pretzel Time in front of their kids, or they'll be forced to explain to them why they can't afford such snacks. I would have given them my pretzel, but being originally from Philadelphia I douse mine in yellow mustard, and 99 percent of the people I've come across find it repulsive.
* Did I mention that this is one of the only malls (if not the only) in the whole state that can only afford to have ONE story?
So please, before you pass judgment on this calamitous and downtrodden mall, please take into consideration the geography and economy of the area and its consequences on neighboring businesses.
Translation: STFU, n00b.
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