DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go to the washroom here. DO NOT touch anything.
Wipe down your cutlery. Look straight ahead and do not draw attention to yourself.
Do not catch the eye of anyone who has just been to the washroom, what you see may make you lose your nerve.
This place has very cheap food which can sometimes taste good.
You may or may not get soup with your meal at the whim of the waiter. You may or may not get a wedge of fresh orange for dessert. Maybe a fortune cookie. It depends.
The owners (Mr. and Mrs.) and probably the servers will treat you with contempt.
You may have to share a table with somebody really obnoxious who sniffles and picks his teeth, there is no option on this.
Leave a CONSPICUOUS tip or the Mrs. will scream at you in Chinese.
Head for the door immediately after eating.