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  • Every time I think of Dunkin Donuts, I think of that terrible song lyric "Don't tell nobody, Dunkin Donuts, but you are my dirty lil secret, dirty lil seeeecreeeaaaattt" Back in the land of the NorthEast, where Dunkin Donuts not only are at home on the city block and suburban strip malls, but alive and well underground in subway stations, convenience stores, and swear to christ, atm outlets, you get used to their brand of crank-sprinkled coffee and perfect little munchkin happy meals. Seriously, with their big puffy logo in that sprinkle-shade of pink, whose mom wasn't the shit when she rolled in w/that cardboard lunchbox pail of fucking perfect snotball round donutholes a la munchkins, and how much it sucked if your teacher insisted on passing around the container instead of letting the fattest kid win w/the prized chocolate glazed hole, and you were at the end of the row with the plain donuthole. Having a Dunkin Donuts out here on Mill Ave brings me a giddy joy that I really cannot explain. From their french cruellers (which I used to get at WaWa at 3am), Egg Crossaint Wiches (best breakfast before bed drunk snack ever), to their classic chocolate glazed chocolate cake donuts, and their huge, doughy bagels that are actually pretty amazing (the everything bagel or bust bitches). It is a true can't miss. Every body who hates junk food, fried carbs, coffee, when you wiggle one of those beautiful Dunkin Donuts boxes in front of their upturned noses, they melt like sprinkles on Arizona pavement-of course you want a fucking Boston Creme! Do not deny thyself! And their coffee is legendary for being really really good, the blue collar mans brew of choice, I have no idea why it is so good. I really think they sprinkle crack in it, b/c once you have it, you start to crave it. If they come out w/an expose of rat poison and feces in their beans, I will read the expose while drinking their delicious caffienated poison, then ask for seconds. I was miffed that this location didnt offer seating-sometimes you just wanna grab a donut and coffee w/your honey on a weekday and head out, but I guess with the ridiculous fake street kids that have outfits from Hot Topic lingering on Mill all the time, I can't blame them. Viva la Dunkin!
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