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| - No doubt the hottest mess in downtown. One of the first times I visited, the bar was airing a live episode of the Food Network show Restaurant Stakeout (all about deeply troubled restaurants), and I got to watch the service staff laughing at their horrible depictions on TV. That was about two years ago.
Cut to this weekend, a beautiful Sunday morning. What sounds better than brunch while sitting outside? The lady suggests B&B. Although I've been a number of times for dinner, still haven't tried brunch, plus its super close, plus the weather--yes, let's do B&B! We arrive about 11:15, order by 11:45. I need to to leave by 1pm to meet some folks, but we figure there's plenty of time.
You know where this is going.
We order a Spanish omelet and the B&B Bake and are told something about how the bake takes an extra 5-10 minutes. Fine, no immediate rush. Around minute thirty is when things start to get a little weird, so I mention how "excited" we are for our dishes. Profuse apologies; kitchen's backed up, the usual. Another fifteen minutes later, as the five or six tables that sat down after us are well into their meals, I tell the server we need to get going so either the food has to arrive immediately or we'll have to split. Quick run to the kitchen; profuse apologies; our orders are "the very next ones" at the window. Watch three more orders land at tables around us, and finally around minute sixty we stand up and begin to take our leave. It is almost ten to 1. Naturally, the server is carrying our plates right as we're passing her. She implores us to sit and eat, says the meal will be taken care of. We're starving, so we sit down and eat.
Not much point going into great detail about the food. It was bad. The Spanish omelet was overcooked eggs with a few red peppers and a slice of supposedly manchego cheese on top. Slapped on a plate, no accompaniment, no flavor or texture, just a quickly thrown together mess that I am certain took no more than four minutes to execute. The "bake" had more flavor (chorizo, obvi) but was also dry and accompanied by some curiously soggy "salad" involving finely diced tomatoes, lettuce, avocados, beans, and olives. It was weird, disproportionate, heavy, mushy, and made no sense.
In other words, it was a lousy experience. The weather was lovely, the bluegrass band, although too loud for talking, was a fun touch, and the packed seating area bustled with merriment. I guess you can get away with a lot on a Sunday morning when the weather's nice and the mimosa and bloody mary taps are wide open. Folks seemed happy. I'd have been one of the happy ones too if I were getting rocked on bottomless booze and time was no issue. Sadly, we were there for the meal in addition to the sun, and the meal was a dumpster fire.
I have it on good authority that the reason B&B offers such chronically horrible service is because the kitchen is simply too small to accommodate the amount of diners that the house can accommodate. If that's the case, it's an unfortunate error in the original design, but it can't continue to hobble the entire operation. A restaurant can't thrive if it's constantly apologizing for pissing off its customers. That's a model for failure. They need to radically simplify the menu, or streamline the preparation, or get rid of tables, or hire faster cooks, or knock out some walls and expand the kitchen, or....
I won't come back, at least not for the food. I've eaten here several times and recall a few quite memorable bites. The mac n cheese blew me away the first time I tried it. A few other things have been surprisingly good. But the menu is much like the service--all over the place and wildly inconsistent. B&B is more than the food, though, which is probably why it continues to survive. The location is premiere, right in the heart of the Arts District. The bar offers a brilliant selection of brown spirits and usually friendly service. It's more than a restaurant, it's a hub, and good thing because it wouldn't survive on the food alone.
For those of us who live near and/or support the Arts District, B&B is a place to embrace and rally around. It's exactly the kind of thing to want to thrive. But it shouldn't get a free pass on being a restaurant just for being a cool spot in a cool location. Two years ago B&B was laughing at its own bumbling self on TV, and it doesn't seem like much has improved since. Pity.
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