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| - This is the favorite burger of our Commander-in-Chief, so who am I as a lowly tax-paying foot soldier to question the restaurant? As the fattest nation on Earth, this burger must shine as a golden example to the reason. The cheeseburger that I ordered could have easily fed a Somalian village and walking back to the light rail I am sure my already high blood pressure shot several points higher. I pray I finish this review before I succumb...
I wouldn't recommend ordering the burger with tomatoes. Not that they were bad, but they create a sliding factor that detracts from the dining experience. There are two options - wear half of the burger on your shirt or wolf it down in an attempt not to wear said burger and as a result fail to be able to enjoy the dining experience. The price of the meal is a little higher than most, but so are the portions. As I described, the burger is enormous, and I ordered a regular size fry. The fries are served in a paper cup and more fries dumped in the sack. Really it was overkill because by the time I engulfed the burger, I really didn't want any fries - but this is a review about the whole meal so for you, dear reader, I pushed on ever so slightly. The fries are good - Cajun flavor and spicy. Good - yes. "The best" as the advertisements proclaim? I wouldn't say so. In comparing Five Guys to another recently opened gourmet burger joint, SmashBurger's rosemary fries are far superior. Five Guys outranks SmashBurger In terms of dining room size and available seating. Plenty of place to sit and attempt not to wear the burger.
One thing I found as a huge distraction was the music. I don't want to sound like an old man, but turn that damn thing down! The radio was so loud it wasn't a pleasant experience. When you are trying to inhale a large cow cooked in 100% peanut oil, talking to your dining companion leaves limited opportunities. Say a few words and dive back in. What makes it annoying and difficult is that when you masterfully pull off this move, the partner continually says "huh?".
Overall the burger was good and tasted grilled from the backyard. I know this will lose me points for being a fat guy and probably further lower my man-card status, but I don't think there needs to be two patties - one would suffice. The fries are too much too. I couldn't even finish the overflow in the bag, let alone touch the ones in the actual cup. For $11 for a burger, fries and drink ($5.59 burger, $2.59 regular Cajun fries, $2.19 large Cherry Coke)I felt like I wasted the fries and was so uncomfortable after gorging on the burger that I didn't enjoy the experience. Dare I say a smaller version of the meal would probably be a good opportunity for a future menu option.
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