| rev:text
| - There's three reasons why I chose Sage when I was humbly tasked with selecting a mid-level restaurant:
1.) Too lazy to walk far since we were booked up in ARIA
2.) Apparently it's decent, according to Yarp
3.) I used to have the word 'sage' contained in all my login passwords in high school
FIRST IMPRESSIONS: It was the weekend of the Mayweather v. Canelo fight, so pulling up to the podium and getting seated was simple and with haste. Obviously, it was fairly empty inside which was fine by me. Pleasing interior design, intimate lighting...really the only complaint I had was that the armchairs have uncomfortably placed armrests that made my pointy elbows appear even pointier; it's dark in there though, so I doubt anyone noticed. Oh, to the guys: please don't show up in sandals and shorts -- no need to dress all the way to the nines but bro, we ain't eating at Boston Market tonight, okay?
SERVICE: Among the best, albeit our server was a bit soft-spoken and just a touch aloof. I'd much rather have that than some pretentious wank that scoffs when you admit to having never tasted Southwestern porpoise blubber. He constantly checked up on our table without assuming control of the meal's pace and promptly provided refills and brought out the dishes in proper time. If I start to slow clap right now for the service provided that night, will someone out there please join me so I don't look like a loser? Yes? PLZZZ?
DRINKS: I was determined to get an old-fashioned and figured Sage was as good of a place to get a finely crafted cocktail as the next. The alkys will appreciate what I'm about to complain about but z'oh my gooseness...I might as well have just drank a quad shot straight, neat. No real bitters flavor and definitely lacking in the sugar cube/simple syrup. I'm pretty sure if you lit a match near my breath after downing the old-fashioned, my face would probably look like that Asian dude in the first Indiana Jones after opening the Ark of the Covenant. One of the others ordered a strawberry infused cocktail and it was the same deal...basically vodka with one sliced strawberry. Maybe I'm just a huge pussy.
DINNER PRE-GAME: Bread was just a couple notches below carb perfection. The sourdough was freshly fluffy and mildly...sour. Bacon bread is the clear dominant roll in the bread basket -- a must try. Amuse bouche was much needed after our drinks and prior to entrees arriving. Lightly-seared salmon with garlic flakes and lemon zest. Simple but effective and it went down nice and smooth.
ENTREES: American Kobe skirt steak cooked medium rare. Generous portions, excellent cuts and bang-on consistency...very delicious. Was it the best beef I've ever ingested? Nah, but it's probably worth a bit more than you pay for the dish. The crispy avocado = fried balled avocado. You cannot go wrong with frying anything, especially one of the best fruits ever. I enjoyed the salsa verde drizzling -- added a nice bit of flavor, spice and 'sauciness' without coming close to overtaking the flavor of the steak. One of the others got the scallops which were tasty, the other got the 36 hour wagyu which I unfortunately didn't get to try.
DESSERT/ROUND-UP: See, this is why you don't wait over a month to do a review. I completely forgot what we split for dessert, but it couldn't have been that great if I don't even remember if it was chocolate or fruit based. The waiter did bring us a couple of rounds of chocolate soup -- rich hot chocolate with freshly ground tarragon. Surprisingly tasty. Coffee was the perfect ending to the meal to counter the cocktails...fuuuuggg those were some hardxcore drinks. The java was good, but not exceptional in any way. Maybe I should have tried their espresso since brewed doesn't excite my inner caffeine freak like it used to.
Excellent experience and wouldn't mind trying again, but I have quite a few others to mark off my list before I can do seconds. A very capable restaurant, and to finish this review off:
5.) Finally de-BM Sage
6.) ???
7.) Profit
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