| rev:text
| - The Short:
A mirage of legitimate New York pizza hanging around the middle of the dessert.
The Pros:
- Affordable!
- Open late (4 a.m.)!
- Beer delivery!
- Decent menu options.
- Greasy pepperoni (for those that like that kind of thing).
The Cons:
- Staff can be hit or miss (night staff much better than day).
- Pizza is pretty bland beyond the scrum-diddly-umptious pepperoni grease.
- Uses McDonald's grade ingredients.
- Some items, such as garlic knots, have a tendency to be undercooked.
Best Item(s):
- Pepperoni pizza.
- Spaghetti w/ meat sauce.
Stay Away From:
- Garlic knots.
- All veggie pizzas.
- The restroom! I now suffer from PTRSD (post-traumatic restroom stress disorder).
__________________________________________
The Story:
When reviewing a restaurant it's essential to consider the type of establishment it is trying to be. What is their overall game plan? What are they trying to sell you? For example, you wouldn't give Dicks Last Resort a negative grade for customer service. The staff treating you like the butt of an Archie Bunker joke is kind of their thing.
So with that in mind, I approached Joe's New York Pizza after a night of debauchery and loud music in Old Town Scottsdale. I ordered a pepperoni pizza and garlic knots, had a pleasant conversation with the staff, and walked back to my hotel to enjoy my post concert nourishment.
The inside of Joe's was pretty standard for a late night eatery. Everything looked like it was a heart attack waiting to happen and the surroundings weren't particularly clean or dirty. That offbeat middle point that only a place open at 2 a.m. is able to find.
Back in the hotel, I was astonished how amazing the pizza tasted. It was about 70 percent grease, but that grease was the most delicious substance I have ever had. I would have free-based it if such a thing were possible. The same could not be said about the garlic knots. They had the flavor of a week old pretzel pulled out of the mall dumpster. Two bites were enough.
The next morning I decided to give Joe's another visit. It was at this point I realized how much the loud music had affected my judgment the night before. The entire place was dirty (all of the tables needed whipped down and I'm fairly certain the Custer's Last Stand had just occurred in the bathroom). An eclectic mix of individuals, who matched the emotional level of a Nine Inch Nails crowd in the early '90s, replaced the once exuberant staff. The pizza grease still tasted like a solid brick of pepperoni, which is a good thing, but the cheese was beyond inedible. It was a night and day difference (get it).
I am very confident that the night staff was a sociable as I remember, but nothing else matched the enchantment of my first time there.
It makes sense though. Awards for being 'the best cheap place to eat' were hung on every wall in the dinning room and precisely define the restaurant. It's the McDonalds of late night pizza. The problem is, I can eat McDonald's fries anytime. I know they're the potato version of plastic surgery, but they still have a taste that almost anyone can enjoy. That's their one item. For Burger King it's the Whooper. Joe's doesn't have this. Their pizza hasn't hit that pinnacle yet. My guess, using a cheese that doesn't make me want to set my tongue on fire would fix the problem.
Joe's is likely satisfied with their place in the culinary world. Inebriated customers rarely complain and usually tip pretty well. I expect this place to stay three stars for a long loooong time.
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