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  • Dear McDonald's, I know you're not good for me. Actually, we ALL know you're bad for us .. but why, are you so f-ing good?! You're especially tempting on those Sunday afternoons, when I don't feel like cooking. That's when you're really tasty. Especially after smoking a big fat bowl ... mmm ... I try to stay away from you. It's your smell. It's the way you give me the same food, every single time. It's never a surprise, and I'm never really disappointed. Every so often your fries are soggy and gross, but I forgive you. The sauce oozing out of my McChicken makes me forget how crappy your fries are. I wish you'd stop sending me those '2 can dine for $8.99' coupons in the mail. They make me angry, and I feel bad for the environment, so I always keep your coupons .. and sometimes even end up using them. So for that, I hate you, and your strategic marketing campaigns. It's like you *know* when I'm eating well and exercising regularly, as that's when you come out tempt me ... I will probably see you in a couple of weeks, so with that, I look forward to our next encounter. Sincerely, L. PS. I love you especially at this location, because you don't make me move my lazy ass to get my food - i just reach out the window.
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