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  • "Not Mike's Shack" We were glad to find free parking right in front of the establishment on what we thought would be a busy Friday evening, and even before we walked in, we were also greeted by a loud "HELLOOOO HOW ARE YOU LADIES DOING TONIGHT" from a local, which made us feel important and special in every aspect. Although we were allowed to select any empty seat in the diner for ourselves, we were surprised at the Friday late-night no waitress policy (we had to place our orders at the front), in which we were informed about by a man who spoke in a voice similar to that of the loudspeaker on Charlie Brown if given copious amounts of downers. Although this place loved being DIY, we were surprised that their prices were so high. There are other diners that retain the same atmosphere but yet charge half the price for a basic two eggs, home fries, toast and bacon dish with a side of coffee. This totaled to about $8.00, whereas other diners (e.g. coffee pot) would charge $3.75 for such a combo. The coffee also tasted like it was made from some sort of chemical based sludge, steeped in burnt dog hair for days. Gas USA Coffee is WAY better. After consuming such a mess, we decided to press our luck at the lottery machine, which unfortunately, also hurt our wallet a little bit more than we bargained for as the machine was sold out of every single kind of $1.00 scratch off. We had to fork over the extra $1.00 for the $2.00 fast cash game, which we actually won, but could not redeem because their redemption machine was all out of order. As the coffee sludge and overpriced egg platter fueled my veins, the excessive neon lighting triggered a mental montage of Brookpark strip clubs captured in a perverse 80's music video. The only highlight of this 80's music video were the excessively glittery plastic cushions that provided a backdrop for my mental montage, as the sounds of the muffled television playing a Nightline TV special on failed Miami real estate played in the background.
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