| rev:text
| - 5-stars. You read that right. FIVE.
Look. I'm old enough where recovery from the martinis the night before may take TWO days, not just one. And that ache from weightlifting at the gym hits me 48 hours later - not immediately the next day. (Only those of you old enough will know what I'm talking about.)
And still... after all this time, I go to Fat Tuesdays @ the Forum Shops every trip to Vegas. Here's why:
1) IF YOU'RE YOUNG & HAVE NO CASH...
In my early days, I remember the need for cheap booze & good times. I also remember a point in my life when my "recovery time" was measured in, like, minutes no matter what drinking game I partook in the night before. After 2 nights of blackjack, I'd be ready for an English Lit final with only a cold shower and a change of boxers.
...LISTEN DORKS: You can't get any better than Fat Tuesday's for this scenario. Hardcore "eff-you-up-like-a-man" drinks for guys, fruity "I-can't-taste-the-alcohol" drinks for the ladies, all for the cost of... a cab ride? F-CK CABS. You're young - you can walk back to Circus Circus, El Cortez, or whatever catastrophe you kids are gonna sleep in while in Vegas.
2) IF YOU'RE OLDER & GOING TO THE FORUM SHOPS... WITH CASH!
Now you're a little older, and you've made something of yourself. Where's your girl gonna go to shop? Where are you gonna buy some extra Hugo Boss microfiber underwear from? Where else can you check out that $4000 Panasonic Elite Massage Chair that you keep telling yourself you're gonna buy when you rock the tables at the Venetian? That's right: THE FORUM SHOPS.
... LOOK DUDE: If you're there with your girl, she's gonna ogle the Christian Louboutin heels, then she's gonna do a purse run at Louis Vuitton, and finally she'll settle on spending an hour lookin at fat clothes at Banana Republic. Meanwhile:
- Where the hell are you gonna be? Losing money at Caesar's atrocious 6-5 single deck Blackjack tables?
- Where else are you gonna go? Walk all the way to Cleopatra's to get the same frickin' alcohol for a 100% markup?
You're smarter than that. So here's a tip:
There's only 2 places for casual food & drinks in all of the Forum Shops: That island near the middle, where everything has a massive 200 point mark up - and that includes those Starbucks knockoff cappuccino drinks...
...or Fat Tuesdays which has cheap drinks, coffee, fresh fried potato chips, and a couple big screen TVs to watch the game on.
3) GREAT 'VEGAS-SMART' STAFF
On a serious note, the folks at Fat Tuesday's are ultra cool & friendly. Just talk to them - I know most of them. Here's a sample of what you can expect:
M: Sup Kurt. You wanna drink?
K: Do I wanna drink at 10:30AM? HELL YEAH, I wanna drink.
M: Cool. You wanna extra shot of vodka for a $1?
K: Do I want extra booze for $1? HELL YEAH, I want extra booze.
M: Let the party begin. [Fist bump]
K: It's on like Donkey Kong. [Fist bump back]
[insert amusing intoxicated discourse here]
They're not pushy, and they're not desperate to make a buck like certain other joints. And they definitely won't "short pour" your drink at Fat Tuesdays.
...Also, all these folks are VEGAS PARTY-GOERS. They know what night clubs are hot, what lounges suck, and where the good looking strippers go to: You should leverage them for advice.
...And if you're hungry for a snack, I strongly suggest picking up something here, because seriously: There's nothing else throughout the whole Forum Shops except for that overpriced island concession stand - check the Directory.
CONCLUSION
This is the oasis in the middle of the commericial desert that are the Forum Shops of Caesars. Either you KNOW you're gonna want cheap booze, or you KNOW you're gonna be going to Caesar's Forum Shops anyway. Make it a practice to take advantage of this refreshing watering hole once you reach it and consider it a milestone accomplishment of your trek through the land of upper class Vegas fashion.
5 stars.
-----------
Y'KNOW YOU'RE GETTIN' OLD AT FAT TUESDAYS WHEN:
1) You used to hork down 3 Hurricanes. Now you can't finish ONE.
2) M: "Dude. Check out the tail." K: "Wait. Fiesta Bowl's on. 3rd down."
3) Seven words: No-I-don't-want-the-extra-shot
4) Can't get some drinks; they conflict with your blood pressure meds.
5) You fall asleep in the Fat Tuesday chairs waiting for "Imelda" to return
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