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| - As a reward to all Rex's readers for his recent Review of The Day...Rex will bless you. Rex will bless you like he did those thousands of people when he was pretending to be an Archbishop. You tell one priest that you aren't into Altar Boys...BOOM...defrocked. Rex would have been pissed if Rex wasn't melting down candelabras and turning them into Iphone parts. All good things must come to an end...soon Rex was roaming the countryside...the cities...the beaches...the dumpsters of the Northeast. From Maryland to Maine Rexy was a seeker...a poet (Roses are Red...Violets are Purple...this doesn't rhyme F U!)...a part time amateur dentist...and full time stud. These were great days. Rex was alive. Rex was kept by chubby women looking to "work off" the winter weight. Rex for 3 days was Chief of Thoracic Surgery at Mass General...until he threw up inside a heart transplant patient. It was during this time Rex fell in love. Twice. First was with "Three Eyed" Karen. Oh, how I miss Three Eye...looking into her blue eyes...and the one weird grey one on her neck. The second was bagels.
To people outside of the Northeast they just don't understand the beauty and wonder that a great bagel can provide. The perfect bagel is slightly crunchy on the outside and soft and chewy on the inside. It can be served as is or sliced and toasted. It can hold butter, cream cheese, lox, cold cuts...almost anything. The only incredible sadness of great bagels is that one day later you have a hockey puck...or you need to slice them thin and bake them to make chips. Still...for that one day. That one great day. You have a circle of perfection that makes that wedding ring on your finger seem more stupid and meaningless than you already know it does.
As with most foods in Vegas it is very, very tough to find a great example of a food delicacy. For about 3 years Rex "Bagel Genitals" Marvin refused to even buy bagels in this town. Rex denied a part of himself...much like he did for those 6 years he didn't buy Donna Summer commemorative plates. Oh...the dark years...so dark...so cold. Rex digresses...Rex sobs...Rex moves on...no bagels for Rex for 3 years...until...a very good friend, Dr. Slash "Degree from Antarctica" McCutter, invited him to discuss his latest...um...troubles...to Levy's Bagels and Deli. Rex reluctantly ate the bagle handed to him, an Everything...after explaining to Dr. Slash that he would end up tied down naked in an ape habitat after giving the apes Viagra, Monster and more Viagra...after seeing the small smile on his face as he protested his fate...and then begged me to do it...Rex was worried about the quality of Levy's. From the first bite all those great memories of eatin bagels with Three Eyed Karen came rushing back. Rex was home...and not the home where had his hand broken for giving the thumbs up to his drain cleaning fourth step-father...oh no...this was the good home...where he tied down his fifth step-father and had a large neighbor lady with horrible gas pains treat him to the sounds of the musical fruit...for 5 hours. Ah...good times.
Levy's bagels were perfect. Rex went on to try several other flavors all were very good. The best savory being the Onion and the Everything. The garlic needed more garlic and the Poppy was never a favorite of Rex's. The best sweet was by far the Cinnamon Raison, while the Blueberry was good but not great.
The real revelation was the rest of the menu. First THEY MAKE THEIR OWN CREAM CHEESE! For those of you who never had homemade cream cheese you will never eat that store crap again. You will use it for grout in your tub. Second, the Challah bread French toast was great and the stuffed Challah bread French toast was even better! The omelets were good, the pancakes were good. Rex has never been there for lunch but the breakfast food are excellent.
The bad...good portions, not great, good specials but nothing that made me have to come back for a good deal, and the waitress service was a little slow. Sadly, the Knishes are frozen and brought in...and they taste it. Lose it from the menu or make it fresh. The Lox, which I think was brought in wasn't great, and if it is made in house...not good. A great Jewish deli has great Lox. Period.
All in all...it is a great place for bagels and breakfast. Like Rex says..."Gotta hole...Rex will fill it...sort of...and then never be heard from again..."
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