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| - Let me start out by saying that this place was lucky to get one star, and it only got one star because 1) Yelp doesn't let reviewers give zero stars and 2) the wine was good. That being said, the food here was terrible. In fact, I was shocked that Eno Vino had 4.5 stars on Yelp, but then I listened to the other diners around us and I'm pretty sure that their palattes weren't exactly sophisticated. Case in point, the woman behind me asked the waiter if the pork belly was really intestines. When he explained what pork belly was, she seemed incredibly impressed. In fact, she even said, "Fancy!" in a completely non-sarcastic way. So maybe Eno Vino has an overly inflated rating on Yelp because its diners think the food is "fancy" and don't know how well-prepared "fancy" food like pork belly should actually taste? Who knows.
Moving on to the food. We ordered the following items: the lobster bisque, the tempura shrimp, the pork belly, and the duck confit risotto. Let's start with the least offensive, which was the shrimp. It was similar to tempura carry out from the corner Chinese place. Not terrible, but nothing to make it really stand out. It was essentially just decent fried shrimp.
Now things start getting offensive. Let's begin with the pork belly. It came topped with a soft cooked egg. Our server made it a point to explain that the dish was presented with the egg on top for a reason - so the diner could cut into the egg and break the yolk so the runny yolk would infuse with the rest of the dish. She emphasized how much the yolk complemented the rest of the dish. I get it. I love a runny yolk. It's one of the reason I orderd the dish. I was thinking eggs and bacon. So you can imagine my surprise when I cut into the egg to find a hard cooked yolk. Huh. If that was all that was wrong with the dish, I could have at least forgotten about the egg and enjoyed the pork belly. Unfortunately it was also covered in a congealed and unappetizing mornay sauce, which had clearly spent too much time on the warmer back in the kitchen. Mornay sauce really isn't that hard to make, and for the prices Eno Vino charges, I'd expect it to be made to order.
Speaking of things that should be made to order, let's talk about the duck confit risotto. Or, as it turned out to be, a slightly brown tasteless gluey mess with nuggets of duck. Risotto should be creamy and just a little toothsome. However, just like the mornay sauce and the egg in the pork belly dish, the risotto had clearly been made WELL ahead of time and warmed up. It was mushy, gelatinous, and gluey. No texture. Plus it was incredibly bland. Two thumbs down.
Time to discuss the most offensive dish of the night. The lobster bisque. I love lobster bisque. It's rich, it's decadent, it's sweet and savory. It's wonderful. However, the lobster bisque at Eno Vino is some kind of Frankenstein bastard hybrid of canned turkey gravy and seafood stock base from a jar. For one thing, lobster bisque should be creamy pinkish orange in color. Not brown like turkey gravy, which is what the bisque at Eno Vino was. I gave the bisque the benefit of the doubt and thought that perhaps the chef was trying to add depth of flavor by incorporating a dark roux. Nope. The bisque tasted and had the consistency of fishy canned gravy. It also came with rubbery overcooked *crab* legs, which was interesting since it was *lobster* bisque. But I digress. The bisque was a fail of epic proportions.
To add insult to injury, this meal, along with a couple glasses of wine for my husband and I, still added up to about $100. I could have complained about the crap food to my server, but what was the point? My server recommended some of these things, so she obviously wouldn't know good food if it jumped up and bit her in the behind. I learned my very expensive lesson at Eno Vino. What a disappointment.
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