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  • "If I don't make it, I love you." - Text message sent to my pal Courtney C. while devouring a grilled cheese sandwich at Melt. Heading to Melt after a few cocktails at the Porco Tiki Lounge was genius. This place definitely gets busy - on a Saturday night, there was a 45 minute wait for a table, or you could sit at the bar. We found the last two bar stools. The most notable part of the decor at Melt is found in the ladies room. Millions of "HELLO...MY NAME IS..." tags were stuck on the walls. I used to hand these out at house parties in college and write dumb shit on them like "Honey Smackz" and "Charles in Charge." If you're a lady waiting to use the washroom, and it's taking awhile, it's probably because someone like me is drunk off their ass and trying to read every single nametag on the wall. I learned about Melt watching "Man vs. Food" and have OBSESSED over this food challenge since then. I'm not interested in competitive eating or winning food challenges, in fact I think most of them are really gross, but the idea of FOURTEEN cheeses on a single sandwich is quite possibly THE reason I decided we should stop in Cleveland on the way home from our Canadian road trip. The variety of grilled cheese sandwiches on the menu will make it tough to decide. I knew I couldn't finish the "Challenge" myself, although I really wanted to try it. My husband & I decided we should share the challenge, but not actually compete. For $30, we received a MASSIVE grilled cheese sandwich with three layers of bread and fourteen cheeses. There was also what looked like a pound of fries, pickles, and cole slaw. Shall I name them all? Goat Provolone Mozzarella Cheddar Swiss Monterey Jack Bleu *possibly some kind of cream cheese* American? OK I give up. I honestly don't know every single cheese that was on the sandwich, but trust me when I say they all melted together fabulously. We split the sandwich in two. He finished his half. I finished HALF of MY HALF. The fries and cole slaw hardly went touched. Did I mention we showed up quite drunk and starving? Melt needs a location in Chicago. It's a thousand times better than Cheesie's.
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