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  • Oh man. The first time I came here, I was a teenager and on the run from the cops (hey, don't judge me - there's a story behind this). My Mississauga buddies were at school and asked me to hang out for a few hours in Square One. I did. However, I was pretty poor, and most of Square One's stores were and still are pretty pricey. I basically just walked circles around it until it was time for me to meet with my friends. It was excruciatingly boring, because I couldn't afford anything. Not that I didn't have any money - I had $23 burning a hole in my pocket. $23 will get you a pretzel and maybe a movie ticket in Square One, but not enough change for the bus fare home. However, if you can afford it and like buying random useless crap, then you will enjoy this mall. It is gigantic. It's the biggest mall in Ontario and at times it is tedious as hell to walk back to a store you were at if you forgot to buy something there. They have the most random and obscure stores in the world that can be awesome if you've got tons of cash to spend; for example, Build-A-Bear is a pretty cool concept if you're into emptying your wallet on a custom-made teddy bear for a loved one (or a loathed one). In my opinion the only really practical and great thing about Square One is the bus depot. Most major bus routes in Mississauga run through Square One, thus making it the true heart of the city if you don't have a car. It is a great place to meet up with people who are also as poor as you and/or don't have cars, even just to say hi or grabbing a coffee before taking a bus home or something. No sweat on anyone's back. I know it probably sounds weird, but it is the most endearing part of Square One for me. The rest is just like any mall - you are bombarded with useless ads for shit you don't need or want, security follows you around thinking you want to shoplift everything the whole store, and everything you do buy will invariably cost more than it should. Square One is a Square Scam. Or a Scam One. I haven't figured out which of those two shitty puns to use yet so you'll have to bear with me. Anyway, it ain't that great. Apart from the fact that the place is nearly ALWAYS packed and that you will smell like many other people's body odour by the end of your shopping excursion, you can only bring a date here so many times as an adult man. Trust me.
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