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| - I thought this would be an easy kill.
I was already perturbed at their sales staff for standing me up on a previous appointment... so when the 'free week' coupon came in the mail, I foresaw my Yelpers revenge, for my mission was to scribe their demise, at their hand.
-Day 1-
It was a sweltering August Sunday afternoon. A slight breeze blew as I walked across the parking lot towards the reception desk. Every few steps, a wisp of chlorine from the outdoor pool would reach me. The absence of smiles from the faces of each exiting member told me that I was about to be part of something special.
The associate at the front desk invited me to peruse the complex in return for my signature. I looked up from my autograph session to behold a large plasma TV serving up music videos.
As I walked into the mouth of the beast, one word came to mind... conglomerate. Yes, this was a Herculean aggregation of raw fitness potential. Passing by several vacant mini-meeting rooms, I pondered the sheer number of financial obligations which had been entered into.
The men's dressing room left me in awe. I beheld cherry wood lockers and granite countertops. Surely these are materials which doctors and lawyers would afford in their grand country clubs. Oh my, I see a chorus line of fancy chrome plated hair dryers.
Good lord, the bathrooms are sealed off. No longer would I have to be subject to the smells and sounds of hunkered patrons working through their 'man-cramps' (aka: stewing chamber pot chili).
Their aquatic offering was subdivided into an indoor and an outdoor water park. A 5 lane lap pool, Olympic pool with 2 water slides, 2 jacuzzis and a sauna comprised the indoor kingdom, while a 4 lane lap pool, huge swimming/playing pool with 2 slides and a mushroom constituted the outdoor funfair.
Yay! They had the obligatory bleach blonde lifeguard. Schwing! [gyrate hips forward]
A misting system provides a cooler climate for heat conscious loungers, and an on-site snack bar offered wrap and salad alternatives to the commonplace fare. The outdoor area was clamoring with harmonies (screaming kids) typical of a public pool.
The 2nd floor of the facility is reserved for the rows of workout machines. There are no less than 23 giant video screens built into the walls.
OK Lifetime Fitness, you win round one. But there are so many other levels which you can fail at, and six days to do it.
~Swoop
Update 07/28/2008:
OK, I cant be hating any more. I love this place and became a member after they threw some cool perks my way. You wanna try something new? Check out the class with the pilates machine.
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