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| - For what it's worth, the burgers and fries here are really good.
The free peanuts are also a nice touch.
The service? Great as well, got the food cooked and out to us quick, fast and in a hurry. Flava Flav would have been proud.
By now I would guess you're wondering why it is, if the food was good, I got free nuts in my mouth (perverts...) and the service was good, that I am giving them two stars.
The two star review starts about three hours after we ate dinner. Both of us looked at each other like someone had just gone Hiroshima on my stomach, and Nagasaki all up in my special lady's insides. The gut bomb this place dropped on us can only be summed up best by NPH. It was leg-en-dary! And not in the good way.
My stomach only reacts to burgers in this manner, which is to say food coma followed up with several highly amusing, ass cheek clenching full power sprints to the toilet bowl, if the burger in question is really, really, really epically bad for you from a nutritional level.
If "massive ass-splosions and sprinting" were Olympic track and field events, Five Guys would be the only food I would train with and I would be an instant international celebrity with my several gold medals in rectal detonation. Women would hang all over me, being so impressed by my prowess to shotgun blast the porcelain with my trap door blaster, that they would even offer to wipe me up like a four year old or George Bush after a coke bender.
I really wish I could have found it in my heart to give this place even three stars, but the truth is that my heart, and I fear most of my internal organs, have been sucked out of my system and down the drain by my now spastic colon.
All that being said, still a damn fine burger, just a high residual cost down the back side of it.
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