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| - On Feb 10th, we were informed at that time that my nine year old would need two fillings for cavities. At that time, I met with one of the office managers. She informed me of the expected costs for the fillings with my insurance. At that time, she also informed me of your office policy that no parents can be back with their child for procedures and that you recommend the use of "laughing gas" for the procedure. I was asked if I was okay with this. I told the manager expressly that I thought not having a parent present was a bad policy but that I would accept it for this time since the x-rays and exam had been done with Dr. Nett and I wanted continuity of care. I also asked that we try to do the fillings without the "laughing gas" and that if it was necessary, we could use it that day as needed. The manager left the room, consulted with Dr. Nett, and came back and said that she was fine with my comments. I scheduled the follow up appointment.
On the morning of February 25th, we came back to do the fillings. My child was taken back and about ten minutes later a different office manager came out to talk with me. She told me that my child was "through with the worst of it" but that she had been "very fidgety" but since "you didn't want the laughing gas, you've made it harder on her." I felt that she was blaming me for my child's discomfort. At this, I responded "Perhaps she would be more comfortable if her mom was back there, but that's not your policy and I don't want to be confrontational." The office manager had no response to diffuse the situation and left me standing in the lobby.
About two minutes later, this office manager and Dr. Nett took me into the back office. Dr. Nett proceeded to berate me and insist that I not simply "accept" her policy about no parent being present, but agree with her. I repeated multiple times that I understood her reasoning, had signed the consent forms, and wanted her to proceed with the fillings. I simply could not tell her that I thought it was a good policy. Dr. Nett insisted that we also use the "laughing gas" for my child to continue and I agreed. After approximately ten minutes of this lecturing, Dr. Nett allowed me to check on my child. She was lying still in the chair, but tears were rolling down her cheeks. I comforted her and let her know that we would be giving her the "laughing gas" to help her feel calmer.
At this point, Dr. Nett again started berating me about needing to be 100% on the same page in front of my daughter. I told her again that I understood what she was doing and would not have a conversation in front of my child where she continued to question me. At this point, Dr. Nett refused to continue to treat my child. My child was already numb and had been traumatized by the experience. She was now not even going to get her fillings done. She felt that she was being punished.
As I left, the office manager continued to be rude to me. She admitted that the first office manager had made notes in the system that I did not like the policy that a parent couldn't be back with their child, so the team KNEW my stance prior to me making or attending this appointment. This situation could have been avoided if Dr. Nett would have made this decision before she began to treat my child and caused unnecessary pain to my child.
I have four children and work with many medical professionals. In the past, if I have had a question or concern, the doctor or dentist has had a respectful conversation with me and we have come to an agreement. Despite my strong feelings that day, I decided to wait several days before I wrote this letter to avoid an over-emotional response. After processing the events that occurred, I am confident that this letter is merited.
I think it is important to mention that I took my child to another dentist the next day that did the filling with no Novocain, let alone no "laughing gas" and my child was happy, peaceful and said "it was great." This tells me that something definitely was wrong at your office that day. The extremely positive experience with the new office made me deeply concerned about your medical judgment.
I am not arguing with your policy. I am arguing with the way you handled the implementation of your policy with me and my child. Your condescending behavior and unexpected change of care after beginning a procedure is my concern. I'm sure that you try to present your policy in a positive light, but going through this experience, all I took away was that you wanted my child alone and sedated with you. A pediatric office should support a parent's desire to be involved in their care, not push them away. In the end, I am glad the work wasn't completed with you as I cannot trust your clinical judgment. I hope that future children will be spared this experience at your hands.
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