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| - I have not had a massage before. But regardless, I decided to take my wonderful wife away for a relaxing spa weekend.
I had booked us in for a massage, and a facial. For those that don't know, a facial is when someone spends an hour rubbing your face with cream. Important point to note - These are paid professionals. If you do this on your own time, with strangers, you will get arrested... I found out in an embarrassing misunderstanding I don't need to go into here...
We arrived, and met Thomas and Brenda. These were our masseuses. They took us back to a room and asked us what we wanted. My wife - having more experience of these things - outlined exactly what she'd like dealt with. I explained to Thomas that I'd never had a massage before. He told me there were many different approaches to massage - full body, hot stone, etc. I got a little scared so I just asked him to do what he thought would be best.
After we prepared, Thomas and Brenda began to work on us. At this point, we got to know them both a little better. Brenda was like a massage ninja - Silently working on my wife's body, with only noises of approval to tell her that what she was doing had worked. Thomas was not a ninja. He talked and chatted and helped me understand what he was doing, all as he made various parts of my body feel pain they hadn't felt in years.
...Now, that sounds like a bad thing. It really wasn't. It was years of tension leaving muscles that I didn't know I had. Thomas was a great character and wonderful personality who - and I'm going to go out on a limb here - juggles in his spare time. I'm fairly sure of it. When you go to Oasis Spa to get a massage (and you should) - just before you get there, picture a juggler. Then ask to meet Thomas. I guarantee he will look like the picture in your head. Thomas - If you aren't a juggler already, you're missing your calling. But, let's be honest, you DO juggle, don't you?
Yep. Thought so.
Eventually, the massage was over. I had expected to feel a bit better afterwards, but the difference was night and day. I felt more relaxed than I had in years! My body felt rejuvenated! I could bend in ways that were so bendy my wife told me to stop it because I was embarrassing her!
With that complete, we moved onto the facial. Trisha took my wife into one room, and Crystal took me into another. Never having had a facial either, I had no idea what to expect. It turns out, you lay on your back - they blow steam in your face - and paint what I presume is guacamole on your face. I wish I could tell you more about the facial, but it turns out it is very hard to stay awake while they do this to you - Particularly after they've told you to stop licking the cream off your face because apparently it's not guacamole.
With that we were done - But then - at the last minute - my wife asked if we could get pedicures as well! Now, important thing to note here - my wife never treats herself. And she definitely deserves it, because she's wonderful. So I was quick to agree! Well... I was quick to ask what a pedicure was - then agree! Turns out it's a facial for your feet! Same principle almost exactly - lots of heat and cream - it's just more difficult to lick it off your feet.
Trisha came along with us to work on my wife's pedicure, after completing her facial - I presume she takes the whole idea of 'end to end service' somewhat literally... So we spent time with Trisha and Lissa who were extremely patient with us. ...Okay, with me. My wife has had a pedicure before. I had never yet had to encounter how incredible weird I felt with someone else working on my feet. It may be just because I always imagine my feet to be like Hobbit feet, if Hobbits were real - With really horrible feet. I've never been happy with them my whole life - so to have someone staring at them for a solid thirty minutes was odd. However - the Spa team were great! They explained what they were doing, they stepped me through it, and one of them even kindly held me down when the other accidentally tickled my feet.
I want to make the next point very clear - I really thought going into the day that I'd sit with gritted teeth patiently waiting for it to end - but it was a truly wonderful experience. At the very end of the day, the only concern left was paying the bill. It was then I was exposed to the fact that Oasis Spa offers discounts for multiple purchases, etc. So I even spent less than I planned!
Joking aside, it was a wonderfully rejuvenating day, spent with kind, friendly people - and cost less than I would have imagined for the quality of service we were given. I can't wait to go back, and neither can my wife - Which is why I'm trying to cause her as much stress as possible to give us an excuse! :)
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