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| - I wish we had listened to the negative reviews. In fact -- they were GENEROUS.
We were initially seated by a young child. No. Wait. We picked our own table. We selected the one booth with the fewest stains on the table cloth. She brought us our beverages with one ice cube each. Yup. ONE. They say they offer Coke products, but it tasted like Diet Rite out of a 2-liter that had been opened first thing in the day.
15 minutes later, she finally swung back around to take our order. Oh, there was only one other active table in the place, mind you. Over FORTY-FIVE minutes passed before we were finally served our entrees. This gave us plenty of time to look around the restaurant. Box tape was holding up decorations. A disco ball was the focal point of some streamers around the room. The TV was far too loud, but we probably should be grateful as it made it easy to keep our unflattering comments contained to our table. I refused to use the restroom there.
Finally our meal arrived. The Chicken Karahi was nothing but a SMALL bowl of chicken breast swimming in Frank's Hot Sauce. Seriously. It was Frank's brand. I'd had it not more than 2 days prior. The other entree was the Mixed Tandoori Combo Delux. Everything was dry and impossible to enjoy -- except the sauteed onions. Those were good.
We were not offered refills of our near-flat Diet Rites at any point. Not after the starters were gone. Not after the glasses were empty. Not during the meal -- even after an ADULT server brought the entrees and blinked at our empty glasses. Were we not even checked on to see if we needed anything or had any concerns about the food. So finally, after sitting with empty plates in front of us for THIRTY minutes (far longer than it took us to eat it), we were almost hungry again. But more importantly we wanted our check so we could go get something to drink. No one was in sight. Not a cook. Not a server. Not a child. No one. So I called the restaurant from the table. They refused to answer the phone. Finally, a woman with a bluetooth headset peeked around the screen from the kitchen, looked me square in the eye, saw me wave to get her attention -- and promptly turned around never to be seen again.
Never have I dine-and-dashed -- but I was highly tempted to that evening. Eventually, a child came around and I asked for our check. Finally! Some acknowledgement -- or so I thought. The chef (possible owner/owner's wife) came around to discuss an issue with another (the ONLY OTHER) table and I attempted to get her attention to tell he we were ready for the check and had a Groupon. We were ignored.
It finally took the child TEN MORE MINUTES to deliver our check to the table. When we pointed out the groupon, she wanted to take the phone with her. We didn't allow that to happen (an iPhone is probably the most expensive thing that establishment has ever seen). After telling her how to credit the value of the Groupon against this check (because WE had to explain the weird terms and conditions the restaurant put on the Groupon), we finally just let her credit the 'value' of the Groupon against the check (Which did not work out in the restaurant's favor) so we could get the hell out.
My message to the hungry public: Do not eat here. This restaurant is doomed and can not be saved. It's in a shady part of town, the service is HORRIBLE, the pricing is out of line with portion size and quality.
My message to the owners: Stop. Save what money and credit you have left and close your doors. Your chef can seem to only cook one dish at a time. This is what caused our excessive wait time; and a mysterious phone order caused an excessive delay on the preparation of the meal for another table of four. There is no possible way your staff or restaurant's infrastructure can support a full house -- which is exactly what you need to survive. But it's not going to happen. Gordon Ramsay can't even save you now.
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