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| - Let's talk about your last date. Was it dry? Too revealing? Sultry? Do you even remember it?
If you're anything like me, it was sweet. Really, really sweet. And yesterday no less!
But they all blend together. Those dates...
IN MY BLENDER!
Dates are nature's fuel. Chalk full of glucose, which is broken down with supreme ease by that tawdry liver you abuse with your binge, fringe weekends into the very usable glycogen. A solid glycogen supply is necessary... NO! Imperative, for sustained energy. You know, for your dates? Or the end of your dates, if you know what I mean, wink, wink, hubba, hubba...
Yikes. I'm that guy.
Anyway, dates have become a huge component of my diet recently and I was reminded by Mama G. that the Sphinx Date Ranch is just a grenade's throw away from her house in Old Town.
I stopped in to check it out yesterday and bought a 1lb bag of their jumbo varietal. Yep, I stole a wine word. From what I could discern, there are three date sizes and they're all priced accordingly, with jumbo being the most expensive. I bought those brilliant bastards, which don't taste any better but are more, well, shall we say jumbo(?) and moist and, I must say, simply amazing. If you're into this sort of thing, stop on by for shiz... They gots the goods...
But what if our date experiences came in sizes? Like you could buy a Jumbo blind date? He'd look like and act like this season's Bachelor or she'd have Mary's job and love of sports from There's Something about Mary fame. But if you're broke, you could just get the Medium Date with guys who are like me, only single. Dates should definitely be for sale. I'm starting a business. Done and done.
I hear the milkshakes are not subliminally sublime. Just, like, regularly sublime.
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