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| - Have you ever wondered where dead calendars are buried? Well, wonder no more. On a recent visit to this OfficeMax we found them. I'm talking calendars with no pulse. Nightmare Before Christmas, kittens, castles of Ireland, One Direction, they were all there. 2012 16-month calendars and it was the end of August 2013. Shouldn't they be giving these things away?
So what can be said about this OfficeMax that hasn't already been said. Staples, Office Depot (are they even around anymore), OfficeMax. They are all pretty much the same. In an age where the big box stores have all but narrowed themselves down to two offerings, OfficeMax manages to hold on. Pens, paper, printer cartridges, poster board, "while you were out" notepads. It's all here. Oh yeah, and they've got a copy/scan/printing/photo center all the way in the back so your mom can have someone other than you help her get the pictures out of her digital camera.
Some other interesting things I noticed:
Justin Bieber duct tape. This one has to be a sign of the impending apocalypse if I've ever seen one. Was there really a meeting that took place in Avon, OH where someone said, "You know what, Doug? The tweens DIY market is really crying for duct tape innovation and I've got just the thing." I bet Black & Decker is all over the Taylor Swift impact drill.
5-lb bag of Skittles. I wonder how long those things have been sitting on the shelf. I love Skittles as much as the next guy and what office couldn't use the rainbow, but who the hell goes to OfficeMax to buy food? And I'd steer clear of those big plastic tubs of peanut butter-filled pretzels if I were you.
Typewriter correction tape. This one has to be a mistake or some small tear in the space-time continuum. I wonder if they sell film for my Kodak disk camera or RAM for my Commodore Amiga 5000.
Dayrunner day planners. I guess the corporate douchebags from 1996 need somewhere to shop, too. Pencil me in for a power lunch at Bennigan's, Todd. We've really got to talk strategy for our Waldenbooks acquisition.
I know, I know, it's easy to bash on the big box stores. They're like that kid you knew in 5th grade that had chronic dandruff and smelled like cheese (he's probably the CEO of the company you work for now). I guess OfficeMax is perfect when you're really desperate for some staples, or 3 x 5 index cards or one of those little Webster's dictionaries you snap into your Trapper Keeper and you can't wait for Amazon to ship them to you. This one is clean, pretty well organized and smells like Post-Its.
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