| rev:text
| - One of the irritating inevitabilities about living in The Valley is eventually being unable to escape some douchebag who migrated here from ANY OTHER METROPOLITAN AREA, and drones on incessantly about how much better things are "BACK HOME."
Chicagoans might very well be the worst.
Enter Portillo's.
Know somebody from Chicago? (Who doesn't? They're everywhere. Like cockroaches.) Ask them about Portillo's, and you'll never get them to shut up. "Dis is da gratess hot dug effer." "you kain't git hot dugs like dis in Feenix." "I'd keel yoo for a Portillo's"
On and on.
It's a hot dog guys, nothing more, nothing less. You'd do just as well from a CART GUY ON A DOWNTOWN STREET CORNER.
We arrived at the new Tempe location and parking situation was a clusterf**k-zoo, which I can't see getting any better any time soon. Portillo's DID have staff poised in the lot to assist, but they seemed just as confused as most of the drivers.
Inside? Holy Crap. Cavernous and full. Very busy, very loud and very colorful. Portillo's has a standard walk up counter for ordering, but today we were greeted by order takers who would then hand back our written orders to give to the people behind the counter. After paying, you are given a number and guided to the other end of the restaurant to wait at an "order up" counter. BTW, the lady working the mike and calling order numbers was extremely irritating, sounding like a carnival barker and, for some reason, feeling it was necessary to add a rhyming quip to every number called.
I think this Portillo's was purposely over-staffed because it was grand-opening week, and they were still working out the kinks.
ONE KINK IN SERIOUS NEED OF A WORK OUT was delivery and presentation. we ordered 2 JUMBO CHILI DOGS, 1 LARGE CHEESE FRY AND A LARGE ROOT BEER. We waited 20 minutes and what we got was a soggy lukewarm mess. We were confused as to why were asked "for here, or to go" when we ordered, as, even though we clearly stated we were dining in, we were handed a paper sack of food and a drink TO GO.
Chili dogs don't wrap in paper very well. So what we unwrapped was a couple of smashed, room temperature messes with half the chili sticking to the paper wrapping. The dog was only ok, the chili generic, and they were a little too generous with the onions, but like I said before, "HEY IT'S JUST A HOT DOG." In this instance, a hot dog with absolutely nothing special going on.
The cheese fries were hot and tasty with the cheese served on the side (again, in a to go cup). Not nearly enough cheese to satisfy the large order of spuds though, and I later noticed it was the same sized cup of cheese that came with the small order of fries too.
I would discount this place as just another not worth it FRANCHISE OF THE "BACK-HOMERS," and the parking situation really does need a fix. But just as we were finishing up, I spied a rather frail elderly lady hoisting a ITALIAN BEEF, and man, did she look happy. Happy enough, in fact, to make me want to go back to Portillo's and give it another shot, this time with the ITALIAN BEEF.
However, if you're just looking for a hot dog to throw down for lunch, see the guy on the street corner and avoid the Portillo's hassle.
After all, IT'S JUST A HOT DOG.
***********************************************************************
UPDATE ALERT!!!
***********************************************************************
9/21/13
Ok....went back and tried that Italian Beef I referred to earlier. Nope. Nothing special. Not bad, not great. There are a lot of "CHICAGO JOINTS" in The Valley. So far, none can hold a candle to LUKE'S Italian Beef.
Just as many employees as the first time, but, even though Portillo's was much less crowded than the first time I went (is the luster really wearing off that fast?), the employees seemed even less organized
Once again, our food took a little too long to come, and was, once again packed TO GO even though we specifically, ONCE AGAIN, said we were dining in.
Overall, after 2 trips to Portillo's, nothing special or worth the crowd, wait time, or parking hassle.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)