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| - UPDATED: HAHAHA BARNEY'S BOATHOUSE, YOU CLOSED JUST AS I KNEW YOU WOULD. SUCK IT!
God Damnit Barney's Boathouse. I was honestly holding out for you to get better. I want to like you. Your bar is unique, large, and typically not filled with douchebag idiots. I've been there 20-30 times in the short time I've lived in the area. But now I'm fucking pissed.
Part I: I walk into Barney's and check out their Yelp page just for shits and gigs and notice that they are listed as "Closed", because some genius at this place made the mistake of putting "2PM" instead of "2AM" as their closing time. I make sure to let them know that everyone searching them up right now could mistakenly believe them to be closed, which could cause a potential loss of business....and it could have been like that for years. At this point I'm obviously a user of social media. I then checked in via foursquare. MEGA JACKPOT They HAD a foursquare checkin deal whereby you get to spin their shot wheel for free.
I show it to the girl working behind the bar, and she obliges.
So I go ahead and take a spin. First problem is, this wheel was built in Barneys tool shed while he was blackout drunk. The wheel from the 30 year old "Game of Life" my parents still have in their basement (and I obviously play from time to time) spins better than this fucker.
I land on "$10 gift card". DOUBLE MEGA JACKPOT. I go to claim my prize and no one says anything or acknowledges me. I guess the decision was "lets hope this kid is pisspants drunk, forgets and leaves. WRONG it's 4pm, I'm not even halfway there yet. I ask the girl about the gift card, and she responds: "Oh well the wheel is broken and always lands on that, so you have to spin again"......umm no fuck this. What if I had paid to spin the wheel? Would I have still gotten that excuse? And, if memory serves right this was not her decision, I believe she went and asked Barney himself or whoever the F was managing this dump, and he made the ruling. Rule number 1: Don't fuck with people who clearly use social media, are you dumb, what do you think will happen. I'm the same guy who just fuckin fixed your hours on the most popular bar search website you idiots. Rule Number 2: Don't put a deal on social media if you're not going to live up to the consequences. Rule 3: If you have a half ass wheel, fucking fix it or don't let people pay you money to spin it.
BUT, I let it slide. Okay, fine you gave me a free spin, I got nothing, my friend actually did win a free shot (...so it doesn't "always" land on $10 gift card after all). I was in a good mood, I thought it was bullshit, but I let it slide. No Yelp review, no temper tantrum, I forgave but did not forget.
I also don't believe in giving people horseshit reviews based on a single situation or circumstance that may be just plain bad luck.
PART II: Another night a few weeks later, and again I choose to go to Barney's. They have a decent deck on the 3rd story that gives you a nice view of the area, and it's a great place to start a night of drinking typically.
I'm a mathematically inclined logic based human, and typically stick to rules and logical assessments of things, which holds true when it comes to tipping: Given an average drink, and your average bar, with average service, and average wait time (this definition covers 98% of my experiences at bars) I will tip $1 per drink. If I'm getting a STEAL on drinks, or free drinks I start making it rain. If I'm the only person in the place getting full attention, same story. I believe I had 3-4 drinks, my bill was $16. I leave $20. Go on with my night.
Check the old credit card statement today, Barney's Boathouse: $28.
Now, I've been charged incorrectly in the past, but usually it's a direct charge on my bill that I can refute right then and there. This, on the other hand, means someone actually took my receipt and changed it to a $12.00 tip. FUCK NO SON.
I'm done with you Barney's Boathouse. You're hurting for money. You need better marketing. You need people working who aren't stealing from their only loyal customers. You have a prime location, and you're fucking blowing this.
Peace out Boathouse. I'll see you when your financial struggles force you to change ownership.
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