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  • This place is billed as a "unique" type of pizza. Its unique alright. Unique in the "Osama bin Laden" is a unique kinda of man kind of way. Yes, it is unique. But so would be giving customers a raw steak, a spork and a jagged piece of glass and calling it a steak dinner. Why such hard words? Well this pizza stinks. Its disgusting. I'd literally rather eat ipecac than this crap. "It can't be that bad," you're probably telling yourself. Rest assured, my friends, it is that bad....and its even worse than you can possibly imagine. You have to buy the pizza a slice at a time. And I use the word slice liberally. They're not really pizza slices. They're more like halved loaves of bread. They cover the bread in canned tomato paste and chuck it all in the oven. Well wait...what about the cheese and the toppings? Well at Beto's, you don't worry about cheese or toppings.. Instead of giving you 100% of a completed pizza, they give you 75% of a completed pizza and call it unique. You get this half-loaf with enough sauce on it for three pizzas. And instead of hot melty cheese, they take a huge pile of ice cold dollar store cheese and pile it on the saucy half-loaf. And if you want toppings, they pull them out of the fridge and shove them into sandwich bags. This is not a unique way to eat pizza, its a unique way to waste your freaking money. The sauce is disgusting. The cheese probably would be alright if they melted it. The toppings are nasty and cheap. The fact that they shove them into sandwich bags like you're a drug addict is just insult to injury. Now if the magic of this place is in the childhood memories of all the yinzers and various hillbillies. Well if this is the truth then you got screwed when it comes to childhood memories. I'm sure people that group up in Cambodia in the 70s have a few child memories, too. It doesn't make them very nice ones. If this is the kind of pizza your Mom and Dad forced down your throat when you were a kid, well I hope you don't hold grudges because I'd hate to hear about a wave of disgruntled adults forcing their bedridden parents to swallow Draino cocktails. Its that bad, folks. I'd rather ride the Port Authority than eat this pizza. The only people who say otherwise are idiots who don't know any better. Don't take it out on them. But don't eat their pizza.
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