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| - It is not often I give one star. In the case of Ciro's, I genuinely wish I could give less. Half a star is probably too generous. Zero for "Eep! Just close already!" is closer to the mark. We felt insulted and kind of violated, actually. Anyway...
... went to Ciro's last night with a group of 8 around 10pm, place wasn't busy, one guy working the ol' dual purpose bar/server role. We order the following, with parentheses providing a brief summary of the outcome:
* 3 bison burgers (Fine, 3 star burger maybe, homemade, BUT, came fully dressed with mustard, ketchup, relish... each of us had to scrape condiments off. Who does that? Let us dress our own freakin' burger. we'll call 'em 2.5, then.)
* 3 pulled pork poutine (Nasty frozen fries, ice cold un-squeeky curd, mediocre gravy, mediocre pork... BAD, so much so that two orders went mostly uneaten. 1.0)
* 1 nachos (Competitor for worst nachos ever that weren't intending irony or insult; covered in crappy cheap black olive slices and scuz cheese, with very, very stale no-name brand nachos. Sent back after a few people at the table sampled and rebuffed. The big zero.)
* 1 fried mozza sticks (Fine, probably from frozen; server tipped plate upon delivery and dumped two on the floor... they were replaced, but yeesh, talk about heaping bad upon terrible! 2.0)
* 2 cokes (Completely flat; notified server, who took his sweet time in replacing them with... 2 more completely flat cokes. Good job! Went unfinished. Another zero.)
* 3 Fin du Monde, 1 Mill St Coffee, 1 Cider, 1... Stella I want to say? (All were from bottles, none skunked, so that's good, but the price was a bit on the high side... nothing outrageous, but 50 cents to $1 higher than I would expect at most bars. 3.0 'cuz they had Fin du Monde... we'll be generous! Nothing interesting on draft.)
So, 3 burgers, mozza sticks, and 1 poutine were eaten (the latter grudgingly). 2 poutine, 2 cokes, and 1 nachos went unfinished (the latter so bad we sent it back).
The "cook" made angry faces at us and rolled his eyes from the kitchen (it's open to view). To exacerbate his suckitude, at one point he was smoking in the alley that joins the main bar and the patio, just outside the door -- the smoke was blowing into the bar, and we asked him if he could move away a bit. He nodded yes, but then didn't move an inch. We asked him politely for something simple, and he was a prick about it. Swell.
To top it all off, as someone else mentioned: Ciro's has the NASTIEST MEN'S ROOM IN THE CITY. It stinks so bad you have to hold your breath. It is filled with fruit flies and some kind of weird moth things. The urinal literally sprays water out at you when you flush. And the toilet... the toilet is covered in some kind of disgusting, slimy substance upon which the fruit flies and moths appear to be subsisting. When you're scared to wash your hands after taking a piss, that says a hell of a lot.
Oh, as for that great beer list that supposedly recommends this place: it's fine but nothing great, and the prices are higher than they should be considering they're just readily available bottles. The Rhino has a much better, more thoughtful, more unusual list that's just as large (maybe larger). So forget Ciro's and just go somewhere else, please!
In closing, if Ciro's were a body part, it'd be a badly infected rectum. Pure scunge, horrible through and through. None of us will ever return.
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