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| - Screw you, Cleveland.
Here I was thinking that if caught up in a game of back-alley-face-punching between the cities of Cleveland and it's cousin, my hometown of Buffalo, Cleveland could be bested. Now, I'm not so sure.
ROUND 1
Cleveland's Pitch: The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Like any institution, it's all about politics and money. But hey, the words "rock and roll" are included in the title, so it's naturally going to snare droves of tourists with pockets full of cash for a good cause.
Buffalo's Counter: The Edward M. Cotter Fireboat
It's the oldest active fireboat in the world. It's thick steel hull is used for icebreaking the frozen Lake Erie waters, but if it swings down past the Peace Bridge it's gone. It attracts nobody, and no money.
ROUND 1: 10-9 Cleveland
ROUND 2
Cleveland's Pitch: The West Side Market
This place rocks more than the hall of fame. Most indoor markets are primarily fish and produce, but this one was laden with meat. I salivated over bison ribeyes, bought a few pounds of smokies and even got a gyro wrap with the largest meat to lettuce ratio ever from Steve's. You'll definitely need a napkin there.
Buffalo's Counter: The Broadway Market
No smokies, and you'll need penicillin there.
ROUND 2: 10-8 Cleveland
ROUND 3
Cleveland's Pitch: Lebron
The hometown hero moved away, became a champion, returned, gave Cleveland at least one championship and counting. One of the best to ever play the game.
Buffalo's Counter: Patrick Kane
The hometown hero moved away, became a champion and will never return because he hates Buffalo for continuously levying weak assault charges against him.
ROUND 3: 10-8 Cleveland
And there you have it. A unanimous decision. Happy 300th review to me, I guess. Now excuse me while I celebrate alone in my basement by the beer cooler without the courtesy of a championship parade, which is how us Buffalonians usually celebrate.
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