| rev:text
| - ==What Happens Every Time I Suggest Chino Bandido For Lunch At Work==
An educational tragicomedy by Jetta
(An office setting. Phones are ringing. Nobody seems to notice.)
JETTA
So, since I'm running out and getting lunch, I say we do Chino Bandido.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Chino Bandido, what's that?
JETTA
It's this Chinese/Mexican fusion place on 19th and Greenway.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Chinese and Mexican? What, like they put sweet and sour chicken in a burrito?
JETTA
Well, their menu's a little more diverse than that, but sure, that example is sufficient.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
That sounds fucking disgusting! Putting Chinese food with Mexican food, that's just weird, man!
JETTA
Well, I like it. So it's either that or you get your own lunch.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
You're serious though, you can get like Chinese food in a tortilla?
JETTA
Alright, so here's how it breaks down. They have 14 different "entree" selections. You can get them in a burrito form or a quesadilla form. If you get a combination, you can two entrees with some fried rice and beans, though I just opt for a double order of fried rice because I can't stand beans (it's a texture thing, it's why I won't eat mushrooms).
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Um, okay. Can you get me two bean burritos?
JETTA
No.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
What, they don't have bean burritos?
JETTA
No, they do. But I'm not getting you anything from there if that's all you're going to get.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Why not?
JETTA
Because you're an adult. You might as well go to Red Lobster and order the chicken fingers. If you're not going to order off the menu like a grown up, I'm not getting you lunch. Besides, you can get bean burritos at the cafeteria for cheaper.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Okay, at least tell me this...do they have Chinese people working behind the counter?
JETTA
I'm not sure. I didn't ask any of them for their passport. But they do make a mean jade red chicken. That's Chinese enough for me. What do you care, anyway? You eat at Olive Garden all the time.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
That's because I'm Italian.
JETTA
Yeah but the people who make the food there aren't.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Good point.
JETTA
Look, are you going to get something or not?
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
I don't know what to get.
JETTA
Here, we keep some of their menu forms here. Fill it out. Hurry. I'm hungry and full of artificially occurring hormones.
10 MINUTES LATER...
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Um...I think I filled it out.
JETTA
Let me see...no, you most certainly did not fill this out. You just put a bunch of checkmarks next to things. Fuck it. I'm ordering for you. Hope you like what I get you.
1 HOUR LATER....
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Hey, is this quesadilla supposed to have cheese in it?
JETTA
If there's cheese in it, I think it's safe to say it belongs there.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Oh. That's cool. I mean, it's good. It's really good. I just, you know, not used to having cheese with...uh...what's in this quesadilla anyway?
JETTA
BBQ Pork, I think. The burrito is Pollo Diablo.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
What's that?
JETTA
You took four years of Spanish. You tell me.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Okay...well, anyway, it's good. I mean, it's different, but I like it, I guess.
TWO DAYS LATER...
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Jetta, you wanna make a Chino Bandido run?
JETTA
Dude, I just clocked in like ten minutes ago.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Oh. Okay. I'll give it a few more minutes then. I'm craving it like mad, though.
DIFFERENT N00B I WORK WITH
What's Chino Bandido?
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Oh man, it's this awesome, like, Mexican and Chinese, what's the word, oh yeah, fusion place.
DIFFERENT N00B I WORK WITH
Mexican and Chinese? That sounds gross, dude.
JETTA
I'll be right back guys. I'm going to go powder my nose. With a gun.
RANDOM N00B I WORK WITH
Ha ha! You said that last week during the staff meeting.
|
![[RDF Data]](/fct/images/sw-rdf-blue.png)
![[cxml]](/fct/images/cxml_doc.png)
![[csv]](/fct/images/csv_doc.png)
![[text]](/fct/images/ntriples_doc.png)
![[turtle]](/fct/images/n3turtle_doc.png)
![[ld+json]](/fct/images/jsonld_doc.png)
![[rdf+json]](/fct/images/json_doc.png)
![[rdf+xml]](/fct/images/xml_doc.png)
![[atom+xml]](/fct/images/atom_doc.png)
![[html]](/fct/images/html_doc.png)