If you're a hardly sober twenty-something interested in both dancing and shouting on a weekend, I know just the place for you. Neu Pittsburgh's hottest club is The Goldmark. Have your ID ready and take a deep breath of freshly-vaped Lawrenceville air before sliding in to a dark Pittsburgh hallway that doubles as a dance floor. Cheap beer-and-shot combos ensure you care much less about the painfully absent transitions between 45-second clips of every hit song from the past 40 years. Mistakes are common and songs frequently stop abruptly or cut off to expose the existential silence of what this crawlspace once was. Start planning your next post-Bumble date because with the lights off at The Goldmark, you can do anything. Except stand on the benches. You can't stand on the benches.