DISCLAIMER:. I rarely ever complain about things. I never write reviews of anything. I'm pretty non-confrontational and really forgiving. That said...
1. Old. Dirty. Dank. Depressing. Am I allowed to say "sh*t hole" on Yelp? Well... it just happened.
2. Night One: Ordered room service. No salt and pepper. No big deal. Server brought them back, said: "Sorry, we ran out and had to grab them from the restaurant." I'm cool with it. Whatever. I don't ask for much.
3. Next Night: Ordered room service again (only my own laziness to blame there). Soup and salad show up with no salt and pepper (again)... and... wait for it... NO salad dressing on the salad! I *finally* got ahold of the restaurant and they said they'd send up both seasoning and dressing right away. 10 minutes later, the same server shows up and hands me everything without a single word. I said: "Seriously? No apology?" And get this, he says (with major attitude): "I already apologized last time for the salt and pepper." I complained to restaurant, obviously. The girl said: "I'm just the bartender taking orders... I'll have the manager call you." He called and did comp the meal. I'm still pissed thinking about it.
4. I found a syringe on the window sill. Yeah, you heard me: a SYRINGE. My first thought: "Ok... this is a hotel for junkies. I get it now. It all makes sense." Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it was just someone's forgotten insulin syringe. Or maybe it was like a really considerate hotel courtesy in the event that I'm diabetic. You know... all those warm cookies they pimp out when you check in. Real thoughtful, I must say.
5. Final night: Wi-Fi goes out for the entire evening (finally comes back on around 9:30). Awesome.
6. As mentioned in other reviews: The elevators travel slower than a drunken snail.
7. I will never, ever stay in a DoubleTree Hotel again for the rest of my life based solely on my experience at the Cleveland Lakeside DoubleTree. Nice work, people. Nice work.